Monday, Monday.....

As much as i love snow (okay, as much as i like looking at snow thru the windows of my warm home...), i have to confess that i am cold. It was 19 degrees this morning when i took my girl to school this morning. I have never been so grateful and thankful that we have a garage (I really should clean out a spot so my husband can park in the garage, too..). It is pretty outside, but I am pretty much over it. I had to laugh this morning when my girl came down stairs with her snowman earrings on; she thinks that if she wears those snowman earrings, it will snow again and school will be let out early. You know, like it did this past Friday. I will say this, if wearing those snowman earrings of hers does that, i am going to wear little sunshine earrings daily...

As i get older, i see myself picking up more and more of my grandmother's and my mother's traits. I feed the birds now, just like she did. I act like she did in that i am convinced the birds will starve if i don't feed them. I can't imagine how our neighborhood birds survived till i came along to feed and make sure that they had water. I tell you, as i get older, i get more disturbing. The fact that i use to giggle at how my Grandmother fed the birds is also bothersome. I am willing to bet that this is what is called "Karma" happening to me as i am sure my little daughter rolls her eyes at me as i use to do at my Grandmother when i insist on filling the bird feeders if it's too cold (or too hot, or too windy or too 'whatever') outside.

I am looking forward to our Spring Break....we are going on a cruise! All three of us!! We've not been on a cruise yet as a family, so it's time to do it. While my first choice would have been a Disney Cruise, this cruise line is the next best thing. I've only been on one cruise and that was over 20 years ago....looking at the boat (or ship) that we'll be on and all of the cool things to do is A.W.E.S.O.M.E. I'm willing to bet that e will have an amazing, fun time! Of course, a cruise is not Italy or Spain, i am still looking forward to getting some really good photos and just relaxing.

It cannot possibly be time to get into the car and pick up e....where does my day go?

Snow and other thoughts....

It's in the forecast for us to have a "dusting" or so of snow this evening. What that means for our area is that people completely lose their minds and the rest of the country laughs and makes jokes about snow in the south. I don't think that most Northerners understand that we truly can't really drive in an inch of snow, and we don't have snow plows or salt trucks to make our driving even more epic. While i would love to grab my camera and go out shooting photos of the snow, i know better. Heck, i have a hard enough time driving in the rain, so i just stay put. If i can't walk to shoot photos, i just watch from my back porch and take photos of my girl and dog from there.

I did manage to get to the grocery store early this morning as i was out of a lot of necessary items....you know, like toilet paper, milk, and bread (these are the items that ALL Southerners need in the event of a snow threat, btw). Had i really been thinking, i would have bought some wine to get me thru a snow-day. The sad part is that i'm not a drinker, although i think it may help my personality if i was. I could turn myself from a quiet, non-social kinda gal to hip and fun and very social kinda gal! Who am i kidding? After just one drink, i am ready for a nap, so i can pretty much forget about changing my personality with wine. One must be totally awake to change their personality, yes?

School hasn't been called out yet for early release or no school tomorrow. Let's just keep our fingers crossed that doesn't happen. My girl loves school and i don't think i am up for a day of whining about how she wants to be at school with her friends and not home with me because, well, i'll make her help with chores (which, apparently, when you are nine years old is just not a "fun time"). I truly think my daughter believes that i just hang out all day, having fun, playing with the dog and eating cookies till it's time to pick her up from school. I had to laugh when she asked me one day "Who changed the sheets on the beds?". My Mommy-like sarcasm came out and said, "Oh, you didn't know that we have laundry fairies?". I really need to let up with that sarcasm thing because it's not really funny unless she gets it....and i hate wasted sarcasm.

I only made one New Year's Resolution instead of my usual 15---> that i totally give up on in two weeks. No more of the "to get healthy this year" or "lose weight this year" or to "exercise more" and my favorite: "To eat healthy this year!". I finally figured out that those resolutions are pretty vague--and that's why they never last more than two weeks. So, this year, i'm going to "Resolute" to write daily. Whether on the blog or in my notebook, i am going to write daily. It can be writing about nothing but thoughts or about something i'm working on; either way, i am going to write daily. I don't have to write pages, but i need to spend at least 30 minutes on this. Usually, i don't have earth-shattering things to write about, but it's not really about that. It's about having an outlet. It's about clearing the mind. It's about just, well, writing.

I did start something life changing this past month....i had a sleep study done and lo, and behold, i have sleep apnea. That could explain why i drag myself out of bed, feeling like i've not slept or even worse, not getting out of bed at all. This ccap machine has changed my life. I wake up and my brain isn't still asleep. I drive my girl to school, and i don't need to take a 3 hour nap afterwards. I actually get things done and i actually am productive. How i wish i had done this sleep study thing earlier! Before, i was ready for bed at 6pm (seriously, who is ready for bed at 6pm???). Now, i go to sleep around 10pm and i am up at 6am. How amazing is that?!?! No more fog head. No more dragging around. No more wondering what in the heck was wrong with me. Apparently, it's really not a good thing not being able to breathe when you sleep. I was having approximately 20 episodes of not breathing while sleeping, which totally screws up that REM sleep that is so important. So, this ccap machine is the best thing ever.

Ahh, my 30 minutes are up. Time to get dinner into the crockpot and pray to the Virgin Mary for no snow and no snow day. :)

Another year flies by....

....and although i am present for every single moment of this past year, i am still amazed at just how fast it has flown by. I have come to the conclusion that days fly by for parents and grownups because there is so much to keep up with and so much to do. Whereas when your a child or a teen, well, there isn't as much on your plate. I remember being in school and time dragging by, minute by minute, second by second. Now, i blink, it's time to get up. Blink again, it's lunch time. Blink, it's time to pick up Emma from school. Blink, blink....it's bed time. Seriously, i am sometimes stunned at just how fast life is flying by.

I didn't do a very good job of keeping up with blogging this past year. In fact, i did a pretty crappy job. I am learning that if i don't blog or write in the mornings, i won't do it at all. I often wonder at this need to blog, to remember, to keep a record of my days and Emma's days. My mother certainly didn't do this and i'm pretty dang sure that her mother didn't, either. Why do i feel the need to record moments and events? Am i scared i will forget? Do i do this for Emma? Whatever the reason, this past year, i have not felt the urge to write at all. I just didn't want to write at all....and that is bothersome.

It has been a very event filled year. Emma and i spent most of the summer in the Dominican Republic. I can't even begin to describe that beautiful country and it's amazing people. The country is filled with raw beauty; land that is untouched or developed. The coast line is stunning and so clean. If given the opportunity tomorrow, i would pack us up and move; but, it's not the right time yet. Emma is still in school so things would need to be different for that kind of a permanent move. The country is very poor, and it's neighboring country, Haiti, is even in more of a need. What struck me, though, is the people i met, were kind and giving. Granted, being on vacation is one thing, and living there would be another, but i think it would be a good place to spend the rest of my time.

We moved Emma into a different school this year. I have always been an advocate of the public school system....up until last year. It just wasn't working for Emma. She did great, all As and 1 B, but something was lacking. It was as if she wasn't getting it? So, we made the decision to move her to a Christian school. If i never make another good decision, well, lets just say moving Emma to her present school is the best decision that Robert and i have ever made for her. She absolutely loves that school, loves her Bible study class and learning scriptures, loves her teacher and is doing really well. Instead of just memorizing, she is actually learning. I only wish that we had done this sooner.

It's Christmas Eve and there isn't much left for me to do but to relax and get some sleep. Emma is beyond excited, of course, and milk and cookies are out for Santa. Jingle, our elf, has been visiting since Thanksgiving, but at the age of nine, i think that this may be the last year of some things for Emma. But, there will be new things that take the place of those things and that is a good thing. I love seeing Christmas thru Emma's eyes; the magic, the joy and the wonderment. This year, she truly gets and understands the real meaning of the season. I had to smile when she drew a picture of the manger scene with Joseph, Mary and baby Jesus on a Christmas card to Grandma DeeDee. No promoting by me to draw it, she just did it on her own. One of my most constant prayers for her is that she learns to lean on Jesus as a friend, someone she can talk to, pray to and give her comfort. It's taken me a long time to see Jesus in that manner, as i think i'm His helper (like He needs my help!) but i've gotten better.

I still miss my Mama.

Merry Christmas, everyone....and God bless.

Goodbye, 2015.....

Emma, Christmas 2007

It's the end of another year. I am stunned at just how fast the years are moving. Days seem to fly by too fast, even as i do my best to be present in the moment. Perhaps it's because as a family, we just seem to be so very busy; Robert's schedule is very packed, Emma's schedule is filled with school, homework, new friendships, and my schedule is busy just trying to keep up with them! How i wish time would just slow down! I want more time to enjoy this life of mine--a life that i am so grateful and thankful for.

Every year, i make New Year's Resolutions.

And every year, well, those resolutions don't turn out like i think and plan that they will.

So, for 2016, after much thought, i am only doing four, easy (but important!) Resolutions!


1. Show more grace to my family and others.

2. Help folks whenever i can.

3. Work on my friendships.

4. Blog daily, every morning.

I know, i know....but you know, these four things, while easy, are important to do and to remember.

The first one is to just slow down and treat my family with my heart. To act instead of reacting. To take a deep breath and give grace to those i love the most. I don't do that as often as i should as my mouth is busy talking instead of just loving.

The second one is to look for folks that need help and then to help. Doesn't have to be a life changing helping moment (but it could!), but to do something that will help someone. To smile at folks. To offer a kind word. To offer to help and then to actually help.

The third one is something i don't do often. I don't work on my friendships. Friendships with others don't grow unless you work at them. Staying to myself is my comfort zone and has been for a very long time. I watch my daughter in awe as she makes friends so easily. She gives herself to others. She laughs with her friends. She makes a connection with them. I want to be more like her this year.

The fourth one is one i truly need to do. I don't write for others to read. I just like to write. I love words. I love what words have the power to do. And i love to record daily life to read later. I want to have a record of our lives for us to read later. I want Emma to have something to read about herself when she was growing up. She loves stories and hearing about the things she did when she was a baby. It's important for me to do this, not only for her, but for me, too.

Here's to a good year....

Welcome, 2016!

Christmas 2015

It's been a wonderful Christmas.

We've laughed, giggled, had lots of snacks, visited Santa, played games and just have pretty much enjoyed each other. It's been a stressful past few months with the move and selling the other house. It's been nice having all of that stress gone and just being able to relax.

Every morning, i wake up with the knowledge of just how blessed we are. I am thankful and i am grateful for all that we have. My life before was nothing like this...in fact, it was a true horror story. I am lucky to be out of that life, and far away from that life. I know how lucky i am to be where i am. I am so thankful that He brought Robert to me and into my life. I thank God every single day for the things in my life because i know how much i have to be thankful for.

Emma has had a fun Christmas. Gifts that she truly wanted,a few books, gifts from much loved aunts and uncles. For the first time ever, my Dad sent Emma a present. Okay, it wasn't actually from my Dad as my sister sent it from my Dad, but it was to her from him. She was thrilled that he 'sent' something to her. I wish i could give this girl a bigger family, but i think i am going to have to give her some 'friends that are family'. I need to give her friends, old and her age that she can count on and who will love her.

It's been a wonderful Christmas...

...and we are looking forward to the New Year!

Christmas is coming!!

My girl....

....is growing up.

A day at the zoo....

Today was Emma's yearly check up....afterwards, we sneaked off to the zoo. Lots of construction going on here, but we were still able to see the elephants, the reptile house, the flamingos and the stinky petting animal area.

It's been a fun day....although we now both smell like goats!

My heart aches.....

....every year on this day.

Fourteen years ago, the Twin Towers were hit.

The Pentagon was also hit.

And a plane when down in a field in PA.

Thousands of lives were lost.

Some fathers wouldn't be coming home.

Some mothers wouldn't be coming home.

Dear friends were lost.

Our lives and our innocences would be forever changed.

We had been attacked in our own county...something i never thought would happen.

I thought we were safe in our country, that the evil wouldn't, couldn't reach us here.

I thought we were safe.

I sometimes see a plane in the sky and i wonder to myself, "What kind of person came up with the plan to fly planes into buildings? What kind of people plan those kind of things?"

The only answer i have to that is simple: Evil people plan these kinds of things. Evil people carry these things out. Evil people do these things.

Over the years, our country has been seen by other countries as the evil ones. I wonder if it is because they envy all that we have in the United States? Or maybe it's that it is our attitudes or beliefs that we have? Is it because of the freedoms we have? I imagine that maybe it is a mixture of things...i do know that women here in the United States live a life so different than some other countries. Women aren't seen as property here, to be owned by others. I am grateful that i live in the United States; i am grateful my daughter lives in the United States.

Today, flags will be flown at half staff in remembrance of this day and for all of the lives lost.

So many brave people tried to save others that day. So many people came together that day. We forgot our differences, our different views, our different beliefs and we came together. We came together to help each other. We realized that we were all Americans and we needed to help each other thru this.

May we always remember that we are all Americans and look out for others, take care of others and love each other.

God Bless us all...

Treasures

Most of my most treasured things aren't things I have found or bought for myself. In fact, I think all of my favorite things are things that have been given to me.

I feel a bit materialistic at times...because of how much "things" mean to me.

I am attached to things.

And I mean, really, really attached.

When I look at the pieces in the photo below,  my heart swells.  Each piece was given to me by people that I love with all my heart. Some of these pieces were given to me for a birthday or Christmas.

Two of them were given to me for no reason other than the giver knew I would love them.

I feel lucky that I have people in my life who love me.  At times, I am not the most loveable person around.  I have baggage that still is with me and that I fight with. Yet thru that, I have been loved by special people; people who haven't given up on me.

Of course, my relationships have changed over the years with a few of my friends.  I am somewhat lazy with my friendships.  I became a wife, and then a mother. I put friends on the back burner while I tried to figure out my new roles.

Thankfully, my friends gave me room and didn't disappear totally from my life. Facebook came along and it became easier to keep in touch.  I could "visit" while trying to learn my new roles.

Cards are another favorite treasure of mine.  If you've ever given/sent me a card, chances are I still have it. 

Yes, that does make me a bit of a pack rat, but I feel like a LOVED pack rat.

For those of my friends I don't tell mushy stuff to very often, know I am thankful and grateful for you.

And that I love you....all of you.