New Years Eve

New Years Eve


This is an older photo of you taken before you were with us by your foster mother. It is a favorite of mine; you are so beautiful in this photo....it is also a photo that i have put in a frame to keep. Every time i look at this photo, it makes me smile knowing that you are my daughter.

It is New Years Eve....and you are safely tucked in bed in your new Tinkerbell pjs. You are so cute in them; i'll take a photo in the morning so you can see just how beautiful you are. You are changing daily and your personality is starting to shine thru; you do this cute snorting thing where you srunch up your nose. You have a laugh that warms my soul, little one. You seem to be happy and know that we love you and that you are safe here with us.....and that knowledge is good to have. I hope that you will always feel that we are your safe place.

It will be a quiet New Years Eve and New Years Day for us. Your three cousins and Aunt Claudine and Uncle Troy left this morning and i was sad to see them go. You were facinated with Viktoria and she was with you. In fact, she wanted to know if she could "borrow" you to take home for a while! She wants a sister and you seem to fit the bill! Viktoria loved to hug you....and you let her. It was fun to watch the two of you together.

Hopes for the New Year? Everyone seems to have a list a mile long for such things, but my list this year is short: for you to be a happy healthy little girl and for us to continue to be a happy family. This life that i have with you and your Daddy is more that i had ever hoped to have. I feel so blessed and so very thankful every morning when i wake up. And when i hear you and your Daddy play "i'm-going-to-get-the-baby-belly" my soul fills with gratitued. You and your Daddy fill my soul....

Happy First New Years, Emma!

Love you to the moon and back.....

Mommy

The Chosen Heart

Thinking of Emma
THE CHOSEN HEART

Longing for a child to love,
I'd wish upon the stars above.
In my heart I always knew,
A part of me was meant for you.

I think how happy we will be,
Once I adopt you, and you adopt me.

I dream of all the joy you'll bring,
Imagining even the littlest things.
The way it will feel to hold you tight,
And tuck you in every night.

The drawings on the refrigerator door,
And childhood toys across the floor,
The favorite stories read again and again,
And hours of games with make-believe friends.

The day you took my outstretched hand,
A journey ended, but our lives began.
Still mesmerized by your sweet face,
Still warmed inside by our first embrace.

I promised to give you a happy home,
And a loving family all your own.
A house you've now made complete,
With laughter, smiles and tiny feet.

A parent is one who guides the way,
Know I will be there everyday.
Rest easy as each night you sleep,
A lifetime of love is yours to keep.

Longing for a child to love,
I'd wish upon the stars above.
In my heart I always knew,
A part of me belonged to you.

Teri Harrison

More Christmas Photos

Christmas Day

Christmas Day


A perfect, perfect day.....my soul is filled with love. I will remember this Christmas for the rest of my life.

You are a gift from God, Emma, never, ever forget that.

Love you to the moon and back....

Mommy

Christmas Eve

Christmas Eve

It's Christmas Eve.....

.....and this was the photo of you and Santa that was taken today. You were such a trooper, no tears, no screaming; you were just curious about Santa and loved looking at all of the lights around Santa's house.

Your Daddy and i are truly blessed, dear Emma, to have you in our lives.

Love you to the moon....and back,

Mommy

Sad day for our neighbors....

Sad day for our neighbors....
Our neighbor, Karen came by this morning with some horrible news. Our next door neighbor's mother (who lives with them) had a massive heart attack while driving with her grandson last night and passed away. Her name was Joan and she so loved her grandson. Her grandson is okay, just a little banged up, but of course, is very upset about his grandma. He thinks that it is his fault, had he not wanted to rent a movie, this wouldn't have happened. Joan volunteered at the school where her grandson goes....she is going to be so very missed. What a difficult and sad Christmas it will be for this family! She had been very nice to me, asking me about you....she was a very kind woman, Emma. She had this very red hair and loved to wear big earrings....but what i remember most about her was her love of her grandson. They were always together; she drove him to school, to his karate lessons, to after school programs. She will be so greatly missed by not only her family, but those around her.

I will be going over later and bringing dinner to them on Sunday. Karen is doing dinner for them today, Carla is doing Saturday and i'll be doing Sunday. Such an odd custom, to bring food when someone passes to the family, but food can be a source of comfort and a way of saying "we care". I hope that i am able to find some words of comfort....i know how a heart can hurt when someone close to you passes. This is also a time of asking "Why"....i guess it comes with age when you realize that sometimes there are no answers to that question and you just have to trust God and know that it is part of a plan and maybe not for you to understand. At any rate, it still hurts your heart....

You are asleep soundly upstairs; it is a few days before Christmas and we are completly done shopping for everyone. I can't wait for you to see your presents! Of course, at 10 months of age, you won't understand, but i'm sure that we will have it all on video for you for years to come. Your Daddy and i feel so blessed to have you in our lives, Emma. When i hear the two of you laugh and giggle while playing "i'm getting the baby's belly", my heart and soul fill with love and thanks. You are truly our blessing, Emma....

Love you to the moon and back....

Mommy

Readoption Day!

Readoption Day....busy, busy, busy!


It has been a very busy past few days for us! These photos were taken on Friday at the Sumner County Courthouse after our re-adoption appointment. It was an exciting day for all of us, and as you can see, you were very cute in your dress. You were a charmer at the courthouse with the judge and it was very sweet to see. While it was just a formality, we are happy that now in everyone's eyes, we are official! But you've been "official" in our heart since the first moment you were placed in our arms...

We spent alot of time this weekend at home...it was really too cold to go out. I thought that we would maybe get some snow, but it didn't snow. It didn't get cold enough but it felt like it was! I did go shopping one night after you were sound asleep, but for the most part, i think that your Daddy and i just enjoyed being home with you. You are fascinated with the Christmas tree and it's lights but we don't spend too much time in the sunroom so you are stuck looking at my silver tree, lol. I think that i may be the only one who thinks that trees is beautiful....

We had a really good day today.....we went to WalMart for some much needed supplies. It was also the first time that someone asked me if you were mine. It was from an older woman who was watching you and i play and you were laughing and laughing.....she kept telling me how beautiful and what a happy baby you were. And then she asked me if you were mine. I smiled the biggest smile that i could and said "Of course! Isn't she just a beautiful child?" I know that she meant no harm, she truly was enjoying watching you laugh and giggle. You are a joy to watch, sweetie.

Gotta go check on you,

Love you to the moon and back.....

Mommy

Getting ready for Christmas...

Getting ready for Christmas








There are only about 14 days till Christmas, little one. Our tree is up and we have almost finished picking out presents for our family and friends. Our Christmas card (with your photo on the front!) went out today; all 67 of them. Some of these folks will send cards back, others won't but i hope that we can teach you while you are growing up that you do things for others because you love them, because you cherish them, not because you think you'll get something back out of your gesture. To truly give from the heart is one of God's greatest gifts to us, little one.

All of the houses around us are decorated brightly with all kinds of Christmas lights and Santa! So pretty to look at....your Dad and i are usually "lets hang a wreath on the door" kinda folks, but since you are now here, well, we are decorating the trees in front with lights. If i let your Dad have his way, Emma, i'm sure that he would put up 30 ft high Santas and Snowmen in our yard! I'm sure that the next few years as you grow, your Dad is going to end up having his way but i think that this year, we'll start with just the trees, lol. And with your cousins and Aunt Claudine and Uncle Troy coming, we do need to decorate a little more. I am sure that we'll be taking a ride around to see the lights while they are here; my hope for you is that you don't sleep thru it!

As you grow up, you'll learn about Santa Claus and making out your Christmas list. I also hope that you'll learn from us what the season is truly about and what it is that makes it so special. It is more that presents and holiday cookies and holiday parties; it's about Jesus and how he was the best present to the world from God. It's also a time for family and for looking out for others who are in a rough time or place. It's our responsiblity to take care of others, Emma.....it's our responsibilty to mankind. So many folks in the world are alone and without anyone to love or to love them back. While i understand that we can't help everyone, those that we can, we will help.

And of course, this year, we will give special thanks to your birth mother. Because of her, we are a family.....i think that God links people together for reasons sometimes. You'll find as you grow up that not everyone who comes into your life stays in it. Perhaps these people were put into your life for a reason or to teach you a lesson or to just be there when you need them the most. I've had many, many of these people in my life, and i'm so thankful for them. These angles help you get to where you are going in life, to put you on a path, whatever it may be. So always be on the lookout for angels, and never forget that you may be one in someone's life

Love you to the moon and back.....

Mommy

Leaves, Leaves and MORE LEAVES!

Leaves, Leaves, and MORE LEAVES!


Last weekend was "clean up the leaves" weekend. A lot of work and it was fun to watch you play with your Daddy in the leaves. Of course, you wanted to eat the leaves, lol, but we managed to keep one step ahead of you and stop you! There is no greater gift, Emma, than to see the world thru your eyes....

We continue to get ready for the holidays. It's odd that this year will be one of my happiest and yet, one of my saddest. I love taking you to the stores and watch you look at the lights, the trees and the deorations. It's all so much fun to see these things thru your eyes. I'm hoping that you will not be afraid of your cousins when they come visit us; somehow, i think that you guys will have great fun together!

Off to check on you....

Love you to the moon and back....

Mommy

Growing up and learning things....

Growing up....Learning things....

I am surprised at how quickly you are learning things, Emma. I'm sure that all Mommies think that their child is the smartest, cutest and fastest learner....but in this case, it's true. :)

You are now cruising around the couch and the endtables...holding on, but moving nevertheless. Every now and again, you will let go and balance yourself and then you seem to notice that you have let go and you grab back on. You are also walking behind your little Enstien toy, pushing it along as you walk behind it. You also love the stairs, lol, and yesterday, you climbed them 5 times! I love to see the determination and concentration on your face as you climb those stairs.....you show such independene already, little one

Loving Emma

Loving Emma

All children come from God....but for some, the journey home takes a little longer.

You are taking your late afternoon nap as i type this. I just crept in your room to check on you and you were cuddled up with your pink elephant, your little tush in the air, your little arm ove the pink elephant. No one could have described to me how much i could love you, Emma. You truly do have to be a Mommy to understand it. I love holding you close to me as i feed you your bottle and you hold my hand with yours, i love making you laugh and giggle. I know that time goes by in an instant as you grow up so i am trying to savor every moment with you.

And all of this makes me miss my Mom even more. I want her to be here with me as i figure out how to be a Mommy. I want her to be a Grandma to you. I want her to ice cupcakes with you on your birthdays. While this will be my happiest Christmas because of you, it will also be my saddest as my Mom won't be here. I keep waiting to not miss her as much, but it doesn't happen. I wonder if she did the things i do with you: did she sing to me? Did she splash me when i was in the tub? Did she say prayers over me like i do over you every morning and evening? Did she make those loud kissy noises that i do with you?

Love you to the moon and back..........

Mommy

A shopping day....

A shopping day....


I miss my Mom, Emma. I try not to, but i do....it hurts my heart that she is not here to enjoy you and be a part of your life. I suppose that i'm being childish, but it so bothers me that some of our family members don't call or email to ask about you. Your Uncle Don and Aunt Claudine ask about you sometimes......i know that everyone is busy with their own lives, but i still expected folks to be involved. My Mom would have been, Emma and that knowledge makes me miss her even more. I keep hoping that i will stop missing her so much....maybe when you loose someone, you eventually get to the point where the ache in your heart doesn't ache so much.

Love you to the moon and back.......

Mommy

Happy First Thanksgiving, Emma

HAPPY FIRST THANKSGIVING, SWEETIE!!!

Today is a special, special day....it's our first Thansksgiving together! These photos were taken this morning....you are always a happy baby in the mornings and this morning was no exception. It's noon now and you are napping so i'm catching up with things and about to do Mommy chores. We'll be having Thanksgiving dinner later this afternoon and hopefully, you'll be awake to eat with us!

The only sad part today for me is that it's the first Thanksgiving without my Mom. My heart aches that she is not here with us, Emma, it's like a piece of my heart is missing. But you and your Daddy fill the rest of my heart with joy....and i know that somehow, she's here in my heart.

Love you so very much.......

Mommy



Waiting Forever
Waiting forever, or so it seems
Waiting forever for so many dreams
Waiting forever to see her sweet face
Waiting forever, waiting forever

Waiting forever, while across the world
Waiting forever is my little girl
Waiting forever, both of us are
Waiting forever, waiting forever

Waiting forever, so much love to give
Waiting forever, she's just beginning to live
Waiting forever, a mother and child are
Waiting forever, waiting forever

Waiting forever to fly in the sky
Waiting forever to see her bright eyes
Waiting forever will soon come to an end
Then no more waiting forever, ever again

By Susan
Waiting for my precious Lily Ana
October 28, 2006

Later in the evening....

Well, you slept thru dinner, so i fed you Stage 3 turkey, rice and veggies later. Thanksgiving dinner was nice, it was just your Daddy and i. I had not idea how much he missed having family around. Family is a funny thing, little one....as much as you love your family, well, they sometimes make choices that don't make much sense. Of course, it seems that it is at those times that they need you to love them more. Your Daddy's sisters are going through some changes in their lives that neither one of us really agree with. Perhaps that harsh, maybe i should say that we don't understand their choices. Family and children, your Daddy and i think, should always come first....and we don't think that the choices that either one are making are taking either one of those important things into consideration. And that makes us incredibly sad. I think that the hardest thing is to let family members make their own choices even if you think the choices that they are making aren't the best. I've now been on both sides of the fence as far as watching bad choices being made and being the one who makes them. Neither side is an easy side, little one...

You are now asleep....and your Daddy and i are going to work on the Christmas tree!!!! :D

Love you to the moon and back.....

Mommy

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Christmas Cards and such....

Christmas Cards and such....


This will probably be the photo(s) that i'll be sending out in our Christmas cards this year. It's so hard to believe that Christmas is right around the corner! We are moving into Winter and it is finally chilly here; tonight it is 42 degrees. I love to watch the seasons- each season is beautiful in it's own way and it is a toss up which is my favorite. I love Fall for the colors of the trees and the knowledge that the holidays are around the corner and i love Spring because everything seems to come back to life. I hope that you'll be a nature kind of woman and love plants and trees. I've always loved looking at them, wondering how they grow and watching them change. Our house, of course, you know, is covered in plants. Plants are like good friends, you always want to have plenty of them around.



Are you simply not the most beautiful child ever?

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Fall Photos

Ridin' in my stoller....

Ridin' in my stroller....

Today I kissed an angel,
This angel child of mine,
Though not of my creation,
My child by Gods design.......

Swingin'....oh, yes, i'm swingin'....

Swingin'....oh, yes, i'm swingin'!


Today your Daddy and i took you to the park to swing! It was your first time on the swings, lol, and as you can tell by these photos, you had a very good time. I did my best to get some good photos, but you were too busy looking around at the other children and enjoying yourself to pay attention to my taking your photo! It was so neat to see my little one on the swing.....and of course, a moment to get teary eyed. Could this be the same little baby that was put in my arms a little more than 4 months ago? The quiet little baby who would just lay there and look at the world around her? You are growing so very fast and i am trying to keep up by taking photos of you as you grow. It's important to me, Emma, for you to have your life with us in photos....i may not know much about your birth family and your birth mother, but i can make sure that you know about YOU and i think that is one of the best gifts that i can give you. These photos were taken while your Daddy had you swinging...i'm almost not sure who had a better time, you or your Daddy! I love to watch him watch you; his face lights up when you giggle at him or do your girly squeal. I fall in love with him all over again, every time i watch him with you. He is such a good Daddy, Emma and he loves you from the bottom of his heart. I see a special bond between the two of you....and it gives me peace.

You are down for your afternoon nap as i type this. I think that your Daddy thinks i'm nuts because i've drug upstairs my silver tree. I so love this tree....it's my first baby tree and i have a photo of me in front of it at 3 months old. It's not a traditional green tree, it's kinda (okay, it really is) guady, but i love it. Lucky for me, LOL, you seem to love it, too!!! I need some more ornaments for it and as soon as you get up, we are going shopping for some.

Guess who is up? Gotta run to get you....

Love you to the moon and back......

Mommy

Nine Months Old!

Nine Months Old!

Oh, yes, guess who is NINE MONTHS OLD??

Yep, you are! We've had a very good day so far....and of course, a shopping trip is in order for us today after your nap.

Nine months old.

How did we get here so quickly, little one? You are napping now....we played peek-a-boo at lunch and i will forever remember your little girl giggles! I love to make you laugh and smile, Emma. I can feel my soul fill with love every time you smile or laugh at me. How can i love you this much? When i hold you close to me, my heart melts.

I often wonder about the things that i should write to you in this journal. There are so many things that i want to say to you, so many things that i'm not sure whether to say or not. This journal is to be about you, but i think that it's important for you to know us, too. I've taken so many photos of you since you've been home with us! I want you to have photos of you growing up, changing, learning things and i want you to see how very much i love you. Being a parent to you has saved me in a way and has brought me and my soul back to life in a way that astounds me. I understand now the concept of unconditional love.....

It is also on days like this that i think about your birth mother. I think of her often, Emma. I wonder how she is, how her life is and if she knows how blessed we feel that we have you in our lives. I wish that i could tell her how you are, how beautiful you are, how happy you are....and how you have a home, clothes, food and toys and parents who love you so very much. I have come to believe that people are linked together for whatever reason in life and we will forever be linked to your birth mother. She will hold a special place in our hearts, Emma. Because of her, we are a family.

Love you to the moon and back.....

Mommy

Happy Four Month Anniversary!!

Our Four Month Anniversary!

Yesterday afternoon, you and i recieved flowers!!!! I'll take a photo of them later today when they open up so you'll have a photo of your first flower bouqet....until i read the card from your Daddy, i had no idea why we were getting flowers! Yesterday was our 4th Anniversary of being home here in Nashville and your Daddy remembered by sending us my favorite flowers: Peruvian Lilies. These flowers are grown from the high mountains of the Andes in South America. The way that they are shipped, they need 8-12 hours in water and flower food to come to 'life' so i'll be sure to capture how beautiful they are.

The past four months have flown by, Emma. It is scary to me how fast they have flown by! Thanksgiving is in 9 days, i think, and then we'll be coming up on Christmas. I thought about yesterday how this is when your Daddy and i thought that we would be bringing you home; we were so taken by surprise when we got the call in late June that our adoption was done and we could go pick you up! We feel so blessed that we were able to bring you home at such a young age so we wouldn't miss out on your learning to roll over, crawl, stand.....

You are napping, but i'm going to check on you....you had a rough night last night when i put you down to sleep. Let's just say that you were not happy and screamed.....and screamed. No tears, but you were screaming. I went in a few times and so wanted to each one of those times to rock you to sleep. You were so tired; you kept rubbing your eyes and yawning thru the screaming! I finally gave in and picked you up and rocked you till you were even sleepier....and layed you back down. I got 3/4 of the way back down the stairs when you noticed that i wasn't there and you once again let me know that you weren't happy! I finally sat on the stairs by your room and waited till you fell asleep and then i went to back in to check on you. You were cuddled up with the pink elephant, sleeping soundly.

Love you to the moon and back...........

Mommy

Big Girl Bath Day!

Big Girl Bath Day

After much nagging from your Daddy, i let him take out the liner in your baby tub. Oh, i had many excuses...."she may be afraid of the water" to "she's still too little" but your Daddy did his best not to chuckle at me. As you can see from the above photos, you are NOT afraid of the water and you are NOT too little. Perhaps the best excuse would have been the honest one: i'm trying to stop you from growing up too fast! So, my goal is now to be a part of this amazing growth instead of trying to slow it, Emma. It is so amazing to see you grow so fast, learning new things.

You have learned the stairs, too....but we are right behind you as you climb. How did you get so determined? :) You climbed up all of the 17 or so stairs leading up to your room yesterday before your bath, little one. One step after the other, step by step and into your room. I watched you through my tears, you are so amazing and so smart! You love to look at the bees in your room and the photos that i have put in there of you and your Daddy. You giggle when you look at these and it makes me giggle, too! I put those bees and butterflies in your room so you could touch them....and you do! In fact, you ripped one of the bees off of your mirror yesterday when your Daddy was changing your diaper! He was too busy with a poopy diaper to worry about your ripping the bee off of the mirror, lol.....

We visited your Daddy's office today.....and your photos are all over it. The women in the office ohh and ahh'ed over you. It was fitting to see that you've now learned to wave! Where didthat come from? sigh....i did say that i was going to encourage this growing and learning thing of yours, didn't i? I had to smile at your waving though....it was unexpected but of course, so cute.

I need to check on you. We've had a busy day with going to the MOPS meeting and then shopping so even though we got home at 5pm, you are still napping. We need to do a bath and some dinner but you are sleeping too soundly for me to bother you just yet.

Love you, love you, love you, my daughter.....

Mommy

Favorite Black & White Photos