Rest In Peace, Dear Scale

This past weekend, i thought that it would be a good time to buy one of those fancy, neat-o scales that not only weigh you, but give out all kind of info that you probably don't want to know in big red numbers. (Those red numbers are digital and are bright enough for my neighbors to see, btw...which would be fine if i was a small hippo and not a 42 year old woman trying to get healthy and lose weight.) I was VERY excited about this new shiny scale....after buying it, i carefully brought it into the house, unwrapped it out of it's box, read all the directions (yep, it came with 8 pages of directions!) and set it up in the place of my old, trusty scale. Which was kinda sad as my old trusty scale and i have been together for almost 20 years....it's seen me though a lot those years. But newer is better, right? And everyone serious about their weight needs a fancy scale with big red digital numbers, right?

The next morning, naked as a blue jay, i 'hopped' on my new shinny scale.

It read 189 lbs.

My heart stated to pump hard, my breathing became shallow, i started to sweat and i truly thought that i was going to faint. I was NOT 189lbs- i weighed yesterday on "Betsy" (that's what i called my old scale) and she has told me that i weighed 179lbs. Maybe i had forgotten to un-dress and take my shoes off?? Did i forget to take my earrings and rings off?? (like they could have possibly weighed 10 pounds....) Did i pee? I did pee didn't i???? Is Emma standing on the scale WITH me?!?!?!?!

I looked down again....Nope, i was truly naked. No earrings, no rings, no earrings, no shoes, no clothes, and yes, i pee'd before i had hopped on the devil's scale. And nope, no baby attached to my leg to make my weight higher.

And that stupid scale STILL SAID 189LB. In fact, it started flashing the number at me to "let me know it was done weighing me". It kept flashing, though, as if to taunt me. Dumb @#*#@ scale.

I jump off and hop on my old trusty Betsy scale. It reads 179lbs.

Back onto the new scale (maybe it was too early for it to work properly?) in the hopes that it realized it's mistake and could see that the OTHER GOOD Betsy scale had my weight at 179lbs. Nope, the new scale did not see that good Betsy had weighted me at the correct weight so it had not realized it's mistake as it still read 189lbs.

I get off the new scale and kick it violently, which kinda hurt as i didn't have shoes on.

So i decided to pee again, you know, just in case.

Hopped back on new shinny scale....IT STILL READS 189lbs.

Back on to my ol' "good" Betsy scale and it still reads 179lbs.

I am mad. I'm more than mad, i'm upset. To the point of tears. After a few choice cuss words and kicking both scales and wondering if i should just take them both outside and destroy them with a hammer, i decide "That's it, NO MORE." I am done with weighing myself every single morning and every time i'm in the bathroom (yes, i weigh daily, like an insane woman). I am done being tied to my scale. I am done. I refuse to be a slave to that dang thing anymore. I refuse to let that stupid thing dictate to me how i will start my day and what kind of mood i'll be in. I refused to have a scale dictate if i'm going to be in a good mood or a bad mood, i refuse to weigh every day, twice a day, i refuse to let MY journey be dictated by shiny evil scale and Betsy.

NO MORE. NO MORE, NO MORE, NO MORE, NO MORE!!!!!

I will weigh myself at the first of the month. That's it. I will go on my clothes and how i feel...my eating habits are so much better, i'm doing my treadmill 6 days a week and upping the time that i'm on it, i feel better, so that's my plan. I'm in a size 12/14 with the 14s being big. I've given up soda, i'm working on my eating plans, am eating healthier and i'm moving in the right direction....i'm in the process of thinking about re-vamping my diet to exclude meats. I'm working on me....

I haul both scales down to the basement, ignoring my husband on the way down. He knows better than to chuckle or to even ask me where i'm taking Betsy and the New Shiny Scale, seeing how i'm still naked. I put them both in the basement corner and walk away from both of them, promising to be back on them on the first of next month and not a moment before.

My husband is waiting for me at the top of the stairs. He hugs me tightly and whispers softly "Thank you for getting rid of Betsy; you are driving yourself nuts by the way you weigh yourself". And then i think about Emma; do i want my beautiful daughter to think for a second that her whole self worth and health is gauged by a number on a scale? Of course not! So why am "I" doing this???

I'll still weigh on Betsy on my once-a-month weigh in....after all, she knows my correct weight, right? What if Betsy was wrong though? What if i do weigh 189lbs??? Then i decide that i'll weigh on the evil new scale and dear Betsy every month.....and record those numbers. If they match, fine. If not, i'll just have two numbers, dang it.

I miss Betsy already. (No, i don't miss the evil shiny scale!) But it's time that my "friendship" with Betsy had some rules and boundaries so i can get on with things and understand the type of example i'm setting as Emma grows up. And besides, dear Betsy is just downstairs, waiting patiently for the first of the month when she and i will be reunited....