I will be with you.
When you go through rivers of difficulty,
you will not drown.
When you walk through the fire of oppression,
you will not be burned up;
the flames will not consume you.
3 For I am the Lord, your God,
the Holy One of Israel, your Savior...
Isaiah 43:2-3
The past two weekends, i've been blessed to be invited to stay with sweet Ms. Jo and Mr. Jim. It has been an amazing two weekends for me; full of laughter, love, hugs and chats. I can't explain how grateful i am to the two of them to have let me into their lives and into their families so i can spend some special time with Ms. Jo.
Ms. Jo and Mr. Jim lived across the street from me when i lived in Athens. I was married at the time to my first husband and the Farley's, i think, always knew that something, well, just wasn't quite right at my home. They were right, of course, but never said anything about that; they just let me know that if i needed anything, i could come to them. Just knowing that they were across the street and i could run there at any time, was a huge blessing to me.
It's funny how God puts people in your life dressed in regular clothes who are really angels in disguise, isn't it?
Ms. Jo has a green thumb. Heck, to be honest, she has green hands. Every plant seemed to thrive with her and she knew so much about plants. I learned to love flowers, plants and trees from my grandma, so i was thrilled to find someone who had info that i needed! The day that they moved from our neighborhood and into their home that they are in now was a truly sad day for me. I felt like i had lost my buddies, my pals. I never had invited my parents to my home for fear that they would be dragged into my mess of a marriage, so, the Farley's were kinda like "my" family during that time.
Thankfully, we kept in touch. Ms. Jo's new home had an amazing garden and she delighted in her new home. A beautiful apple-decorated kitchen, her treasured antiques that she and Mr. Jim would find and bring home soon decorated the new home. I was thrilled they were so dang happy there...but i still, selfishly, wanted them to move back. But she and Mr. Jim were two peas in a pod and happy as clams in their new home...it was fun to watch the two of them banter back and fourth. It was almost like watching a dance between the two of them, one that had been perfected over many, many years of marriage.
Ms. Jo is also one of those women who take care of others. She is a nurturer in every sense of the word. She took care of her husband and loved her two children. She loved her friends and they loved her back. I remember thinking way back when we lived across the street from each other: "She should do more stuff for herself!" but the truth is, that wouldn't have made her happy. Taking care and loving others was what made Ms. Jo happy.
And she did those things so well.
To hear from Mr. Jim that sweet Ms. Jo was sick was hard to swallow for me. And the fact that it was cancer, well, made it even harder for me to swallow. I knew what was in store for her. I knew without a doubt what was in store for her. I was scared for her because i knew what cancer, radiation and chemo can and will do and it's not pretty. I was scared because of the Stage the cancer was classified in. I was terrified for not only her, but for her family. I didn't want Mr. Jim to watch her get sick. I didn't want her daughter, who was younger than i was and had a beautiful daughter and a sweet husband, to see how sick her mother was going to get. I didn't want her son, who i had pretty much watched grow up into a young man who also now had family of his own, to have to watch his mother get sick. Ms. Jo would loose her hair. She would feel horribly sick. I wanted to stop this from happening, and yet, i knew that i couldn't. I prayed as hard as i could that maybe the doctors were wrong, or that what they found would mysteriously disappear.
That didn't happen.
No matter what i did, or anyone else did, no matter how many people loved her and she loved back, no matter that she had beautiful grandchildren, she was going to get much sicker with treatment. In order to get rid of cancer, she would have to get much sicker first and then, get better. Ms. Jo would get sicker than any of them had ever seen her get....and it would break their hearts. It would break all of our hearts.
Just like it did for my family when my Mama got sick.
Ms. Jo, however, is not the "sit in the corner and pout" kinda gal. Her spirits, her faith, her strength did what is no surprise to anyone who knows and loves her: she got on her boxing gloves and decided to fight and do everything and anything she could do so she could stay with Mr. Jim and be "Nana" to her three grand kids. If it meant chemo and radiation, so be it. She would do what she had to do to give her the best shot at being able to stay with her family. I hate to admit this, but i think that i am a "sit in the corner and pout" kinda gal. I do know that Ms. Jo had her moments, but from what i understand, they were private ones. Ms. Jo is the one who made her friends feel comfortable when they visited and put them at ease. Ms. Jo hugged back tightly when hugged and continued to love on each and everyone of her many visitors. You know you've been loved on when Ms. Jo hugs you...
Now, under Hospice care, i can see her gradually getting weaker. She is in a wheelchair (that i named "Sally", btw) now and needs help getting things done. She hasn't eaten solid food in over 20 days; preferring to sip on Ginger Ale and eat orange Popsicles. Ms. Jo, however, is still doing things under her terms and i am so very proud of her. Her sharp wit is still there, her smile is still there, her eye rolling is still there and her hugs are still there. And the banter between Mr. Jim and she is still there and makes me smile each time i think of it.
Ms. Jo, Mr. Jim, their children and many friends know that there will be a time when things will change. Oddly enough, i think that it's Ms. Jo who is helping them deal with this. I can tell she puts everything she has into talking and loving and family and friends; almost as if she is trying to cram as much love as she can into an unknown amount of time. It's as if she is teaching us how to die with grace...and how to truly live our lives.
Because that's truly what it's all about, isn't it? Loving God, relying, trusting on Him to walk with you, loving others with your whole heart and serving them? Isn't that what life IS all about? Aren't those things the things that bring you the blessings in life and make it worth living? Aren't those the things that truly make you feel the most alive? Aren't those the things that God put us here to do?
I think so. I truly think so.
I'll be going back to spend some more weekends with sweet Ms. Jo and Mr. Jim very soon. Her garden needs some tending to, and i want, selfishly, to hang out with them. I'm grateful for this time with them, grateful to both of them for including me in their lives....and grateful for the lessons that Ms. Jo is teaching me.
I just wish that i could have learned those lessons on what life is about another way...
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