Today....

....seven years ago, we became a family of three.

That moment, seven years ago, was the most amazing moment for Robert and i. I have no doubt that moment will be cherished forever by both of us.

I remember every detail of that day....counting her fingers and toes, praying over her, holding her close while she held on to my finger with her little hand. I remember her falling asleep on me, still holding my finger. I remember her looking into my eyes with her big, brown beautiful eyes...what a moment for me.

And as grateful and thankful i am to be her Mama, my heart aches for her birth mother, who may have felt she had no other choice than to place her first, little daughter up for adoption. I constantly pray for S, trying to desperately let her know thru my prayers that her little daughter is much loved, safe and is growing up to be a funny, smart, people-loving little girl who has her eyes, her nose and her hair.

So, you see, my happiness happened at the expense of another woman....and i truly never forget that. I have to be honest when i say that knowledge has also changed me so much. It has made me look at adoption in a different light, changing long-held beliefs about what i felt adoption is/was and how adoption should come to be. It's hard to share those thoughts because i know that folks will think to themselves, "Well, you adopted your daughter the way adoption was...." and that's true. But one day, one day soon, i'm going to put my thoughts on the subject of adoption. I have a feeling my friends will not be completely thrilled with my thoughts....but i am hoping that they will understand them.

We love you, sweet girl....to the Moon and Back!