Emma's First Birthday

My little daughter turned one year old this past Saturday. We had a very small party with a few close friends and had cake and a few presents-i didn't want anything overwhelming or over the top. And it was perfect. Emma was funny with the cake and presents and loved the balloons that my husband had blown up. She and i spent the morning together while my husband ran errands....and of course, i took photos of her. This photo is probably my favorite of those morning photos....

Note to self: NEVER send sweet husband to the party store alone again. He brought home enough balloons, party supplies, hats, blowers, helium, candles, terrias and stuff for a party sixty one year olds. I had to admit, however, i was very proud of him as everything he bought matched in the butterfly and bee motif that we had picked out for the cake. (sigh, not only am i a control freak, i have to have things that match!) He also handled lunch for all of us and did a beautiful job. So, i'll do my very best to overlook that HUGE bill to the party store! :) He's a fantastic, fantastic husband and i am truly blessed....

Alot of rambling thoughts from that day....i kept thinking about Emma's birth mom. I've always felt a sort of connection to this woman-perhaps it's because she's given me the greatest gift of all: Emma. I had a strong feeling all day that she was thinking about Emma; wondering how she was on her birthday. I realized late last night that in order for me to be a Mommy, Emma's birth mom had to let this child go and trust that she was doing the right thing for her. How much faith that must have taken! How i wish that i could let her know how much i love this little girl and how well she is doing. She's funny, sweet, adventurous (too much for me, lol), has an amazing smile, loves to wave and babble and is such a happy little girl. It is ironic in a way that she looks like her birth mother, but laughs like me. I think that Emma will be a loving mix of both she and i. How i wish that i could share photos of her so she could see how well Emma is doing! I can only imagine how Emma's birth mom feels, but i like to think that she knows in her heart that Emma is well taken care of and loved. And that i don't take being a Mommy lightly-i'm so aware of my responsibilities as a Mommy. It is a daily prayer of mine that God help me and my husband raise this child with all of the love and guidance that we have, to give us patience to be good parents. I hope that Emma's birth mother knows in her heart how i will always take care of this child; i promised myself the moment that Emma was in my arms that i not only owe Emma everything that i could give her, but that i owed her birth mother that, too....and i am constantly reminded every morning when i sign on to Spark People that i owe her a healthy Mommy, too.

I was a little disappointed in both Robert's family and my family. No one called or sent a card to wish Emma a Happy Birthday. Maybe disappointed is a little harsh-i guess i was hurt. I've tried not to ever miss anyone's birthday (especially a nieces or nephews)....and well, this was Emma's first birthday. We didn't even hear from my sister which really surprised me. I knew that my Dad wouldn't call...but i didn't expect not to hear from anyone. It was such a big day for the three of us as a family. I am starting to think that Robert is right-it is time for us to build our own support system here....but it is still sad to me. Robert told me a long time ago that you can't pick your family but you can pick your friends, so it's time for us to join a church and get involved in our area.

Okay, enough of my pity blog, lol...it was a good day for us and Emma?

Well, she's playing with her birthday gifts and 'reading' her books and babbling to her pink elephants. What more could my heart ask for?

Life is good....so very good.