One of those days....

....where one wants to crawl under the covers and stay there to hide away from life and the duties that it brings. The rainy weather doesn't help that, either; in fact, it just makes the urge to hide under the blankets more attractive and even more inviting.

Thankfully, i have a tot who will have none of that hiding under the covers stuff. She rushed in early this morning with a "Gooooddddd Mooooninnng, Mommmy!" and was ready for peanut butter toast and milk breakfast. After breakfast, it was time to play with Pato (the puppet ducky thing) and Horton the elephant. And, too, it was time to change clothes three times, look at our toenails and compare them to the elephant's toenails and eat a snack.

Who could stay in a 'hide under the covers mood' with all of that going on?!?!

There is much coming up this next week to do and to deal with. I'm heading to the Spanish Consulate in Miami on Tuesday and thankfully, Melinda is going to watch over my treasured tot while i'm gone for the day. I hope that she knows how grateful i am for her watching over Emma while i'm gone....Emma loves Ms. Mwwlinnda and Cooper so i won't have to worry about her for the day. It's a quick trip to deal with paperwork stuff, but it's a costly trip due to the last minute flight. I'm secretly excited about the trip, not because i'm going to the Consulate or going to Miami alone, but because i'll be able to bring home a stash of Spanish food and meats.

I know, i'm always thinking about food. But i miss this kind of food so much and nothing spells comfort to me more than Spanish food. Nothing. Except maybe actually being IN Spain....

I'm also headed to visit sweet Ms. Jo and Mr. Jim this weekend! I can't wait to see them and apparently it's prom weekend, so pretty Lacey, the granddaughter, will come by in her dress with her boyfriend. I'm sure that Ms. Jo is looking forward to seeing Lacey in her dress....it will be a good weekend, i'm sure. And if i'm reeallyyy lucky, maybe Mr. Jim will find us some Chicken Mull--->don't even ask, lol.

So, it's a day to be thankful for things. Like well-loved stuffed animals, story books, lots of rain for our flowers, toes that don't look like elephant toes, and a tot who always manages to remind me how much i have to be grateful and thankful for.

An update...

....about sweet Ms. Jo from her husband showed up today in my email box. I didn't want to peek at it, but then, i so wanted to know how she was doing. Even though i was there for the weekend, things have a way of changing so fast right now, almost in an instant, it seems.

Below is Mr. Jim's weekly update:

Jolynn is struggling with some of her medicines. They either taste bad, burn, or nauseate her. Some of the medicines she needs, but I refuse to put through pain or unnecessary discomfort. She has a chemical UNBALANCE now (this is from our Hospice nurse), and it happens when the liver begins to be involved that it will actually produce ammonia. This causes confusion, mood swings, angry outbursts, and some moderate memory loss; all of which she is actually having.

She is trying to fight it off but I'm afraid she can't beat this one and her anger is so not her. She can't control her emotions and repeats things over and over. The people who love you and you love the most are targeted, and you know it's only because we are here. Our love for her is without question and we will rise above this. She is not herself, but we love her no matter what.

I am going to try and attach a photo of a Rosary. It was given to Isabel(Anna) by her grandmother who was from Spain. She now wants Jo to have it to carry with her on her journey. Such love and friendship is wonderful,and we dearly love Anna for this gift.

We (the children and I) went to the funeral home last night and did some fine tuning her final arrangements and wishes...

We love you all,

Jim & Jolynn

ah, yes, the Rosary gift to Ms. Jo.

I wanted to give something to Ms. Jo that she could hold on to, and find comfort in. For me, my Rosary has always been that one thing that brings me peace. I hold it in my palm and run my fingers over the beads, slowly, eyes closed, in prayer. Sometimes, i just hold it in my hands, feeling the prayer beads....it brings me comfort when other things don't.

This particular Rosary was a gift from my Grandma in Spain. There were three of these Rosaries that she sent to us via my aunt: one for my Mom, one for my sister, and one for me. My sister wasn't so much into Rosaries, neither was my Mother, but i loved these particular Rosary, so i kept all three with me to make sure they wouldn't be lost. The beads from these particular rosaries are made from crushed rose petals and have the most amazing smell of roses. It is said that when you smell the beautiful smell of roses, the Virgin Mary and Christ are looking over you, praying over you.

When my Mom passed away, i placed mine in her hands to be buried with. I kept hers and i still had my sister's. When i was at a loss at what to give Ms. Jo for comfort, it dawned on me that this Rosary would be perfect. Sweet Ms. Jo would get my Mom's rosary.

I was a bit nervous about giving Ms. Jo my gift...she's not Catholic but i hoped that she would understand the significance of the gift i intended the Rosary to be for her. She understood. She understood completely. And of course, she and i cried together.

So, now, Ms. Jo has my Mom's Rosary to bring her comfort....which is a perfect place for that Rosary to be.

My Mom would think that is the perfect place, too...

Guess what this is?

oh yes, folks, it's my newest toy!

The Three Best Things...

THE THREE BEST THINGS

WORK
Let me but do my work from day to day,
In field or forest, at the desk or loom,
In roaring market-place or tranquil room;
Let me but find it in my heart to say,
When vagrant wishes beckon me astray,
"This is my work; my blessing, not my doom;
Of all who live, I am the one by whom
This work can best be done in the right way."
Then shall I see it not too great, nor small,
To suit my spirit and to prove my powers;
Then shall I cheerful greet the labouring hours,
And cheerful turn, when the long shadows fall
At eventide, to play and love and rest,
Because I know for me my work is best.

LOVE
Let me but love my love without disguise,
Nor wear a mask of fashion old or new,
Nor wait to speak till I can hear a clue,
Nor play a part to shine in others' eyes,
Nor bow my knees to what my heart denies;
But what I am, to that let me be true,
And let me worship where my love is due,
And so through love and worship let me rise.
For love is but the heart's immortal thirst
To be completely known and all forgiven,
Even as sinful souls that enter Heaven:
So take me, dear, and understand my worst,
And freely pardon it, because confessed,
And let me find in loving thee, my best.

LIFE
Let me but live my life from year to year,
With forward face and unreluctant soul;
Not hurrying to, nor turning from, the goal;
Not mourning for the things that disappear
In the dim past, nor holding back in fear
From what the future veils; but with a whole
And happy heart, that pays its toll
To Youth and Age, and travels on with cheer.
So let the way wind up the hill or down,
O'er rough or smooth, the journey will be joy:
Still seeking what I sought when but a boy,
New friendship, high adventure, and a crown,
My heart will keep the courage of the quest,
And hope the road's last turn will be the best.

~Henry Van Dyke

A note from Mr. Jim...

...was sitting in my email box mid-morning today. I knew that this email was coming, but i wasn't sure when. As i looked at the title of the update email, which simply was titled "Jolynn", i couldn't decide if i wanted to open it or not, read this email now, or read it much, much later. Mr. Jim sends updates weekly on Ms. Jo to friends and family to let everyone know how she's doing.

She's not doing well.

I don't think that any of us are surprised that she's almost at the end of her journey. I do think that what has surprised everyone is how Ms. Jo seems to be taking care of everyone around here, even as sick as she has gotten. She has shown amazing grace, almost as if she is giving us lessons in not only how to live to the end, but how to die with grace at the end, too. One last gift from her to all of us around her.

Below is Mr. Jim's email. It's hard to read it without tears coming. Yesterday, Ms. Jo asked Mr. Jim to make her final arrangements, telling him what her final wishes were to be. She is tired, i think, and ready to make sure that everything is ready to how she wants it....

Hello All,

Jolynn finally made her decision to go ahead with having the hospital bed and the Foley catheter put in today. She has almost no strength at this point and last night it took Mike and I both to help her up. She is starting to have pain from being helped up and back to her chair or bed, and we would never do anything on purpose to make her pain worse. She has been strong beyond our wildest dreams, but the "Tuff Guy Act" is fast coming to a close. She is still fighting, but she knows she will not win this battle, even with her valiant effort over these past 13 months and for sure these past 6 weeks. We can only admire her willingness to do whatever needed to have just one more day, then another, and so on. She is not giving up, but is slowing down, resting and getting ready for the next hurdle in her journey to peace and restfulness.

We are doing our best to tolerate all the things that are happening to our beloved, Wife, Mother, Nana, and friend. We don't question God's decision to choose one person over another to stand at his side, but we wish it would much later for our Jolynn. There are so many things in our children and grand children's lives that she won't get to be a physical part of. Her presence will be forever in our hearts and hopefully we will try and remember as much of the good things that have been in our lives.

Please continue to pray for Jo. Her mental and spiritual peace is needed now more than ever. God bless all.

Jim (for our family)

As for me, my heart is once again, sad to the point that it aches. I'm sad for us that Jolynn won't be a part of our physical lives anymore. Mr. Jim will loose his much beloved wife. Missy will loose her Mama. Michael will loose his Mama. The grandchildren will loose an amazing Nana.

And i, and many of Jolynn's friends, will loose an amazing friend.

I'll be able to spend time with the Farley bunch this weekend....and i'm so looking forward to seeing them and hanging out with Mr. and Ms. Jo. For single moment counts, you know....every single moment.