For Stellan....

I am a follower of MckMama's blog. It's an amazing blog where i've learned about photography, about baking yummy things, read funny stories about her little ones, learned about faith and have come to love her young family. MckMama's youngest, Stellan, who is nine months old today, is very ill. Heartbreakingly ill. So ill that he will be airlifted to the Children's Hospital of Boston soon. The photos on her blog speak the sadness of little Stellan and just how very ill he is. Stellan's situation makes me pray for this little one and his mother as i cannot imagine how she must feel, but i am amazed at her strength and faith. MckMama wrote an post today that speaks of her faith and her trust in God.

Please go visit MckMama's blog, read THIS post, and if you feel lead to, pray for little Stellan and his family. I know that they would appreciate it so very much!

A day in the life....

 

 

 

...of Emma.

First, a shower is needed. You know, because i'm in there. And it's great fun to watch me try and shave my legs while trying to balance around her water-dancing and singing. I've never seen anyone take such great joy in a morning shower as she does....

Second, a bubble bath? Why? Who knows! But this is when i get to jump back IN the shower to finish my shower. Emma will stay in a bubble bath until she looks like a small raisin if i let her.

After finally relenting and getting out of the tub (with a bribe of a cookie, of course...) it's off to run through the house naked and giggling. I guess this is a good way to save on towels and air dry. I've not figured out why running through the house naked is such a joy, but to Emma, it's great fun.

Then, off to breakfast for a wafffffle and strawberries and orange juice (watered down, but she doesn't know that!). After inhaling down breakfast (eaten naked, of course) it's off to wreck the playroom play or to read every single book we have. And i mean EVERY. SINGLE. ONE.

And then?

Thankfully, a nap. That's the last photo....see how she sleeps? Standing with her eyes open and a smile.

Lunch is next....and i'm starving by this time. And so is Emma as she'll eat half a sandwich, a few soy chips and strawberries till she looks like a strawberry.

The rest of the day is busy....we go out to the yard to play or get in the pool or visit Y or if i'm lucky, it's a Tuesday or a Thursday and it's off to Mother's Day Out. I haven't figured out yet who enjoys MDO more-me or Emma. If i'm really lucky, we get to spend the day with Melinda and Cooper shopping or hanging out. We also have started coloring...yeah, i'm one brave Mommy to let a two year old play with crayons, aren't i? But the rule is: crayons stay at the table. Aren't you dying to know how long rule will last? ;)

Back at home...it's clean up time. You know, to the bathroom where it looks like i had to wrestle a small naked child into clothes, to the bedroom where we had to 'ump on da bed', to the kitchen where food is well, everywhere it seems....and to the mega-mess in the playroom.

Snacks follow~like bananas that 'no cut, mama' because Emma wants to bite pieces of banana off now. You know, kinda like a toddler loves to do? I start thinking about dinner if i haven't thrown something into the crock pot...

More destruction time play time in the playroom follows. And then, YIPPEE! it's time for Dora. I love Dora because i get to pee all by myself while Emma sings and dances to Dora. I take great joy in the small joys of life, don't i?

Dinner is around 6pm....more cleaning up to do.

And bed? Oh, yeah, baby, it's at 7:30pm!! Some days, that's even MY bedtime!

But these are good days and i'm so thankful for them. Emma is a healthy child. Messes that are made can be cleaned up. Things that are spilt on the floor can be cleaned up. It's okay if she breaks something that she's playing with or is hard on one of her books. It's okay and i'm thankful for every mess, every mushy kiss, and every sticky hand print Emma leaves me on the windows or table.

Some of the blogs i follow, well, children aren't so healthy and need many prayers. Over at McMama's blog, Stellan is having a hard time and over at the Rigg's blog, Abby is also not well. A day in their lives is so much harder and heartbreaking. I keep them both in my prayers for better days....

....and i hope that you will, too.

Forgive the quality of the photos...they were taken with my camera phone.

My toes need sand!

 

This is the first summer since i can't remember when that i haven't been to the beach. I miss the beach. I miss the smells of the beach, the smell of the saltwater, feeling the sun and mostly, the sand between my toes. I miss just closing my eyes and listening to the water roll in, wave after wave. Of course, those days of a self-centered beach vacation for just me, lol, are gone but what will replace it will be even better: beach vacations with Emma. Hopefully, we'll be able to get to the beach in September or October....until then, i guess i'll just have to dream on the sand on my toes and the smell of the saltwater in the air!

Sleeping like a baby.....

 

....is the one thing that i would like to do more than anything right now. I'm still fighting off this cold/step thing and i'm about to wave the white flag and give up. I don't take anything that will really let me sleep as i won't be able to hear Emma in my slumber; so, my sleeping the past few days hasn't been of the restful kind. Of course, i'm surprised that with my stopped-up nose and wheezing, that Emma is able to sleep at all as i'm sure that i am snoring enough to keep the dead awake when i do sleep. Robert is at his high school reunion (that thankfully, Emma and i didn't have to attend) and i'm missing our MOPS Retreat, which i have looked forward to since the last one ended. Yeah, i know, i'm a sad camper...

Thankfully, Emma is not sick at all. I hope that she won't get sick either or at least not with this stuff. I've tried not to kiss on her (which is insanely hard!!) and not let her drink after me so i'm keeping my fingers crossed. She's been a gem while i've been sick....i'm afraid that there were two days were i shut us up in her room so i could lay on the floor while she played in her Dora Tent Houses (very cool, as they are connected with a tunnel you can crawl through!) and read. I was awarded by Emma putting Pachi in arms while i was on the floor so i'm pretty sure that she understood that i didn't feel too hot. And i had to smile when she drug her favorite books to me to 'read' to me...very cute even if she was reading upside down. ;)

I think that the thing that i don't understand about Mommies getting sick is why they don't take up offers of help. Melinda offered more than once to keep an eye on Emma but i didn't want to be a bother. What is that about? I do know one thing-the next time a Mommy friend of mine is sick, i am TELLING her that i'm coming over to get her children so she can rest in peace. I guess it's one of those Mommy things where you want everyone to think that you are SO all together that even in sickness, you can handle things.

Emma is napping....so i'd better nap, too.

"Ewww....."

 

 

...has become Emma's new favorite word....followed closely by "yucky, yucky, yucky".

Food that my little one likes is "mmmmmmm" and food that doesn't pass the "mmmmmm" test is deemed 'ewwwww' followed by 'yucky, yucky, yucky". She's very happy as she gets her Dora plate loaded with strawberries, grapes (both fall under the 'mmmmm' category), cheese (only sharp cheese, 'pweease'), low sodium sliced ham on wheat bread (depending on her mood, this can either be a 'mmmmmmm' or a 'ewwwwww') and some raisins (always in the 'mmmmmm' category!).

Honestly, though, she's not a picky eater....but she has to smell new things, touch them, and THEN taste them. It's really cute to watch her inspect her plate. And i think that she just likes to say the words "mmmmmmm" and "ewwwww"!

Heroes....

Embedded video from CNN Video

...an amazing video that will take your breath away. A woman and her two children (two and four)were pulled from their SUV by two off-duty firefighters...you really must watch this clip.

The only word that i can think of to describe these two off-duty firefighters (who are also brothers) and everyone who helped is the word:

Heroes. True Heroes dressed in everyday clothing.

I've always had a fascination with firefighters and police officers; and it's not just because of their uniforms! (Although, really, who can resist a man in a uniform?!) Firefighters rush into a building on fire when everyone else is doing their best to rush out of the building. Police officers face tough situations on a daily basis that most folks never have to face. I often dreamed of being a firefighter/police officer (all-in-one!) when i was growing up, but in my heart, i knew that i wasn't brave enough. It's hard to be brave when you're scared of fire AND your own shadow....not to mention the dark.

But i am so thankful for the men and women who ARE brave enough to do those jobs on a daily basis. Because without them, well, many more tragedies would occur.

Maybe the next time you see a firefighter or police officer eating out, you could buy them their lunch? Or maybe, if they are behind you in a drive-thru, you could pay for their meal or add a cup of coffee? Or better yet, just tell them how much you appreciate them for the work they do; i bet that they don't get to hear that often enough.

And i need to add this: an over-due THANK YOU to the firefighters and rescue squad of Goodlettsville who got my Emma out of a locked car (yeah, i did that...sigh)in less than 4 seconds on Valentine's Day two years ago in our garage. Not only did they take care of Emma (who had fallen asleep during all of the 'excitement'), but they took care and hugged a crying Mommy who couldn't believe her stupidity and made her feel, well, less stupid with their own funny stories of what other Mommies had done and had to call them to help with.

Really, please watch the clip...it's amazing.

A Crush....

 

It seems that my little Emma has a crush on Cooper.

And got her first "kiss" from him.

I guess it was bound to happen....i just didn't think it would be so soon...

Reading....and learning.

 

(A favorite photo of foot prints on the beach in Maui...i can't remember if those are my foot prints or Robert's foot prints, though.)

I've taken on a challenge of sorts this summer....i'm reading the Bible. I've only read bits and pieces through the years, which is funny considering i went to Catholic School. What's even more funny (okay, not really funny at all, sigh...) was the fact that i had no idea that there were so many Bibles. I had just assumed that there was an "official" Bible and that was the only one there was; because, of course, i totally assumed that everyone in the world was Catholic. Not so about an "official" type of Bible. There are not only different Bibles (traditional, study, reference, "place in life", one year Bibles, Children's Bibles, Pastor Bibles, Parallel Bibles, Chronological Bibles, and a few Speciality Bibles....)but there are different translations of the Bible (King James, New American Standard, NIV, New English Bible, and Free translation Bibles also known as the Contemporary English Version). It actually took one of my very close friends from MOPS to patiently explain the differences to me and which one she thought was best for me to read.....otherwise, i am sure that i would still be sitting on the Bible aisle trying to figure it out or would have just given up all together. Thank heaven for a good friend with lots of patience and knowledge!

I already had a Bible that was given to me at the time of my First Communion. I had long ago given up on reading that beautiful white Bible that my parents had given me that day. At the time of my Communion, i was really too young to grasp the King James version; over the years, i picked that beautiful Bible up to flip through it, believing that i really just wasn't smart enough to read it. And of course, i wondered why in the world someone would write a Bible that i would have so much trouble reading! Surely there were others like me who couldn't understand the Bible! Growing up, i had decided that i wanted to become a nun (yes, you read that correctly, folks) because of the way they took care of others in need and had such a strong belief and such a giving heart. My father wasn't exactly thrilled about what i announced that i wanted to do at the age of 8....and discouraged it over my growing up years. So, i decided that i wanted to join the Peace Corps. Yeah, he totally nixed that idea, too, and me being the 'good' girl at that time, well, i listened. I wonder if parents understand how strong their encouragement (or no encouragement!) effects a child's choices?

Back to the Bible reading....

It's going, well, it's going slow. Very slow. I guess i want to make sure that i understand what i'm reading and that means taking my time. Which is hard to do sometimes when you have a toddler. I usually read when Emma naps or goes down for the night as it's the quietest time for me. I'm treating this Bible of mine like most books that i have--i underline parts that i love and have huge question marks where there is something i don't understand.

Yeah, there ARE a lot of question marks in this new Bible of mine....

...and so i'm in the mist of deciding who to pester with my questions.

It's interesting, the Bible is. People seem to be people whether they are in the Bible or are in the here and now in regard to their actions, thoughts and treatment of others. That has surprised me the most, i guess. And of course, sin and how people act (or don't act...) has been amazing to read. I'm glad that i've decided to read the Bible...this past year in MOPS was difficult in that i was serving with women who seem to have such an understanding of what the Bible is while i, well, didn't and didn't even really own a Bible. But i guess i need to remember that we are all works in the making...and i wonder how many other members are like me?

The one thing that i do know is why reading the Bible has become so important to me. I want to be able to teach Emma about these things and be able to answer her questions; it's hard to teach something that you know so little about. Interesting how being a parent makes you want to be a better person and know more about the world around you....

We are still in the mist of looking for a church where we've moved to and have found two that we like. Perhaps i should attend a Bible Study class? Or maybe corner one of my MOPS mentors? Either way, i still have a lot of reading (and underlining and questions marks!) to do....

...but it's a start. :)

A Kate McRae Update Clip

Farmer's Market

 

 

I love the Farmer's Market. Not only for the fresh stuff, but more so as a chance to people watch. I forgot my camera this morning, so i'll have to take another trip back, but what a wonderful place the Franklin Farmer's Market is! It's not as large as the Nashville Farmer's Market, but it's big enough to have variety and cool, interesting stuff.

My haul today included: yummy tomatoes, Sliver Queen Corn, strawberry jam, handmade soap (my gosh, it smells SO good!), a bag full of peaches (i can't even describe how sweet they taste!), a huge boquet of flowers (for only $15!!) and of course, the "healthiest" of treats: Kettle Corn. Oh, and an amazing blueberry muffin, and chocolate chip cookie.

Emma, of course, LOVED seeing all of the dogs. She was licked, tickled on her toes and petted at least 5 different dogs. There was the "fancy" dog in it's own stroller, a young black lab, a fluffy mutt, a shepard and a dog-horse (you know the kind--the dogs that are so large that they drag you along?) Emma, i think, had a wonderful time...

And i'm thrilled with my haul!

RIP....

I never do two posts in one day...but this is so sad to me that i had to share. So, i have one happy post (our Family Day) and one very sad post about the Billings Family.

When i began researching about adoption, i came across a couple in Pensacola, FL who had adopted many children. I was so impressed by this couple that i read more about them. Byrd and Melanie Billings who lived in Beulah, which is a rural area west of Pensacola very near the Alabama border, mainly had adopted special needs children and children who born to drug-addicted mothers. In total, they had 16 children and 12 of those children were adopted. In a 2005 story in the Pensacola News Journal that i first came across, the couple said they wanted to share their wealth with children in need, but didn't imagine their family would grow so large. They owned a car dealership and a few other companies and folks would say how hard working of a couple they were.

On July 10, Byrd and Melanie were shot and killed in an apparent home invasion. None of the children were harmed....one of the children called a woman who lived nearby in a house on the property; she then called the police. Some of the children slept through the home invasion and were waken by police deputies. The children are now staying with other family members. The police are looking, apparently for a van caught on surveillance tape and three folks who were with the van.

Some times things happen that you can't make sense of. This is one of those times. I always want things to make sense....but sometimes, well, they just don't. And i guess in times like this, you tend to question faith and all things with it. But the murder of Byrd and Melanie were works of evil...

I'm so very sad for the Billing's family's children who have lost a wonderful set of parents who loved them and cared for them. I can't imagine the pain for those children who can understand what happened and for the Billing's extended family. I hope that they know that there will be many prayers said for them...

Our 2nd Family Day!

 

 

 

 

There are special days in every one's life...and then there are SPECIAL DAYS!

Today is OUR SPECIAL DAY!

Two years ago, today, we first met, held, and cuddled little Emma. Who knew that falling in love could be so easy?

Where there were two, we became a family of three...

Life is so much different and better than i think either Robert and i could have imagined. For this little, cute person has taught both of us that love is bottomless and it is possible to love even more than you thought possible. She has also taught us patience, playfulness and how to laugh harder than we ever thought possible.

Emma has given us the best job in the world: To be her parents.

We love you so very much, Emmy...

It's a Crock Pot Kinda Day!

 

Oh yeah, baby....let me tell you how much i LOVE MY CROCK POT!

It's like magic~you put food in, add somethings like veggies....and PRESTO!! In a matter of 6-8 hours you have a meal. A meal that you didn't have to slave over, a meal that cooked while you were doing other things. You know, like napping....or shopping.....or Zumba'ing. Every mother should own a crock pot...EVERY single one of us. It should be a mandatory Mommy Rule: Have a family, MUST have a crock pot!

I'm making one of my favorite recipes that i got from someone in my MOPS group. It's called "Best Slow Cooker Pot Roast" and it truly is good. I think that it should be called "The EASIEST & Best Slow Cooker Pot Roast"!

Here's the recipe in case you'd like to try it:

~1 beef sirloin roast (this cut makes the best pot roast, but other cuts will do)
~1 T kosher salt
~1 T ground black pepper
~6 garlic cloves peeled (i use the garlic in the glass jar that already chopped up...)
~1 cup beef broth
~1 pkg baby carrots
~1 pound of potatoes (small red or fingerling work best)
~1 yellow onion cut into eighths

Directions: Sprinkle roast evenly with salt and pepper and add to slow cooker. Add garlic and broth. Cook on low for 6 hours. Add carrots, potatoes, and onions and cook for 2 more hours. (I also add mushrooms....)

Use leftover roast for roast beef sandwiches the next day!

HOW EASY IS THIS DANG RECIPE?!?! And it is really, really good...

And since no day starts off without Emma "helping" me....

 

....here she is "helping" me fold clothes.

 

And here she is "helping" me make the bed.

Aren't those the cutest little bloomers ever? :)

For Kate....

I usually don't send out massive prayer requests about things i read online. That's not to say that i don't pray for people (especially little ones....) that i come across online...i've just not been really comfortable before now asking for prayers for someone.

I'm comfortable today, though....

One of the blogs i LOVE to read is called "Bring the Rain" by Angie. The link is on my Must Read Blog List to your right. This past Friday she had a post about a little girl named Kate who truly does need all of the prayers she can get.

Here is a link to the clip that her parents have put together to explain what is going on with Kate~and at the end of the clip is Kate's Caring Bridge link:



Please, listen to the clip and send up your prayers for little Kate and her family. Visit their Caring Bridge site and leave a message for them...

....lets look out after others in their greatest time of need.

Happy 4th of July!

 

 

 

 

To me, there is no better place to celebrate the 4th of July than downtown Chicago. It is an amazing and beautiful city and the firework show that they put on near Navy Pier is fantastic.

No, i'm not in Chicago for this 4th of July....

....but i was there the year before last!

Here are my favorite photos of the 4th of July that year~i'm not too good with the firework photos, but trust me, the fireworks were amazing!

And here is Emma's favorite 4th of July Clip for you to enjoy:



Enjoy your holiday....and don't forget to say a prayer and thank those for the freedom that we have because of their sacrifices.

Unconditional

 

As a romantic at heart, i often dreamed of "unconditional" love. You know, finding that ONE "special" someone who loved you no matter what. Who loved you on your rotten days, who loved you on your bad hair days, who loved you when you dressed dorky, who loved you when you weren't especially lovable....who loved you, and loved you no matter what. Most of these romantic type of thoughts happened for me when i was in my late teens and early twenties....i'm sure that it all started with Snow White and Co. stories~you know, the "Someday-The-Handsome-Prince-Will-Come" and love me, save me and take care of me forever more. And really, at that age that i was at, heck, i thought that WAS what unconditional love was all about. The truth be told, i always knew assumed that it would be a man who loved me this way. Imagine my great surprised when i figured out i was wrong...

(I can do a WHOLE blog post on my poor choices in men, btw, if anyone is interested!)

Now, at the age of 40-something-ish (yeah, yeah, i'm 43 but that's another post) i've finally realized something about unconditional love, and what it really is, how it feels when you figure out that someone actually did love you this way, and the one person in my life who loved me in that way. Of course, i didn't appreciate it during that time, nor did i really understand the concept of unconditional love but that is usually the case. Immaturity, self-centeredness and more self-selfishness seemed to make up most of my personality while growing up. It truly was 'all' about me growing up and entering adulthood.

The really interesting thing about this? I've spoken to three other women who have figured out who in their life has loved them unconditionally, too....and it's the same figure in ALL of our lives. Who is that person? Who was/is that person in my life?

My Mother.

I think that that i first realized the morning that my Mom passed away that no one would EVER love me like she loved me. No one. And that no one would come close to loving me the way she did. No matter what--whether she was miffed at something stupid i had done, or when i decided that i should get my ears pierced for the third time, or when i came home late--she loved me. She loved me with her whole heart even if i wasn't lovable. When i hurt, she hurt and would try to fix it. When i was happy, she would be happy with me and celebrate my happiness. When i was sad, she would make me better. When my first boyfriend broke my heart, she held me while i cried. When many years later, a handsome military man i loved dearly, broke my heart, she held me again while i cried, telling me that i would be okay but that it would leave a scar and that was okay. My Mom was my biggest cheerleader, my example of how to be a mother and as i grew up, she became my friend.

Even though i realized that my Mom loved me in this way, well, i didn't understand why. I certainly wasn't the most lovable child around. I guess i just figured that she did love me the most and that was it. I didn't realize till Emma came into my life and i became a first time mother just how much this woman loved me, why she loved me and just how much i lost the day she passed away.

How much did she love me? More than any person ever has....and with a no-holds barred kind of love that defines the words "unconditional love".

Why did she love me the way she did? I think for her, i was her oldest daughter and she and i were alone for many years after i was born. My Dad was in the military and gone a lot so i became, i think, her 'purpose'. At that time in my very young life, i only spoke Spanish like she did so i'm sure that bonded us, too. And, i'm sure, like most mothers, she didn't want me to make the same mistakes in life that she had made in hers.

~What did i lose when she died? The one person who i could call at any time with any problem who would totally stop what she was doing (no matter what she was doing), listen to me and try to give me advice with my best interest at heart. No agenda...she truly wanted what was best for me. Although she wasn't verbal about love till she became very sick, i always felt her love. She showed me how she loved me in how she took care of me, hugged me, cooked for me, and how she would call me every other day when i left home to "check" on me. How i miss those phone calls!

I also lost the one person who truly knew me and my history.....and loved me in spite of my history.

How i want to call her when i have questions about being a Mother to Emma! I want to know what she did with me when i acted in a certain way. I wanted to know if she ever felt like running away from home. I want to know how to raise a little girl like she raised me. I want to know how to love a daughter without smothering her. I want to know how important cooking is for Emma to learn. I want to know what she did when i wouldn't nap. I want to know why my Paella doesn't taste like hers. I want to know if she just ever held me and said prayers over me to keep me safe like i do with Emma. I want to know if she ever looked at me with the same type of amazement, wonder and joy that i look at Emma with. And i want her to tell me that she taught me well and that yes, i'm a good Mom.

My Mom never got to meet Emma.....she passed away 7 months before Emma came home when i was still in the process of figuring out agencies, etc. She never got to see Emma's referral photos, or tell me how beautiful Emma was. She never got to be excited for me that i had finally, finally figured my life out and that i was going to be a Mother. She never got to actually 'see' me be a Mother. And she never got to be Emma's grandmother. How Emma would have loved her!

Emma is named after her birth mother's Mother (who had also passed away) and my Mother...it seemed fitting to name her after these two women. She knows who 'abeula' is and points at her photo often and says: Hi, Abuela! in her cute little voice. It warms my heart to see her do this....

...and it reminds me how i've come full-circle because i now love a little girl just as much as my Mother loved me.