It's a Monday....

....and little Emma is at school.

The husband is at work.

Pickles is snoring, dreaming of chasing squirrels, no doubt.

And i am restless.

I have lots of things to do....lots. My list never gets shorter. But today, well, today i just want to crawl back into bed and pull the blankets over my head.

I get this way sometimes...and it's not good. I keep telling myself that lack of sunshine is the reason for this mood, yet i know that it is so much more than that.

It always has been.

It's almost like a helpless feeling....or maybe it's a hopeless feeling. I just know that i make sure that i pull out of it before Emma comes home.

She deserves a Mama who isn't feeling that crawling under the blankets is an answer to anything.

Thoughts about the Circus....

Tonight, the three of us went to the Circus.

Yes, it was billed as "The Greatest Show on Earth!".

We were part of the Girl Scout seating, which of course, was filled with other Girl Scouts, Brownies and Daisies and their siblings and families. It was a very excited group; who wouldn't be thrilled to be at the Circus?!?!

(Except for maybe my sweet husband who paid for the tickets, the outrageous parking, and bought two hot dogs, a soda and a snow cone in an elephant cup.....honestly, you don't want to know the cost of that!)

Emma and i were excited too. This was my very first trip to the Circus, too.

It's no secret that i adore elephants. I'm not sure why, but i have always been drawn to these stunning animals.

And tonight, i was going to see elephants up close!!

As the show started, it was so very cool to see and hear how excited all of the kids and adults were who were sitting around us. From the youngest to the oldest, we were all very excited.

It really was a fun show.

The Magicians were hysterical with their bunnies.

The Poodles and their trainers were awesome.

The tigers were so cool.

The horses were cool with their tricks.

The acrobats were so breath-taking to watch.

The clowns were silly and funny.

The Elephants?

Tragically intoxicating to watch.....and then sadly, the elephants brought tears to my eyes.

The Elephants were a big "i-can't-wait-to-see-them!" event for everyone.

Even me.

But as i watched the Elephants go thru their routine, i became sad. I wanted more for those big, beautiful creatures.

I wanted to wish them to a place in Thailand called The Elephant Nature Park, which is run by an amazing woman named Lek Chailert who founded Save the Elephant Foundation.

The Elephant Nature Park is for Elephants who have had lives that haven't been the best for them. The Elephants may have been used for logging, for entertainment, or mistreated at the hand of humans.

I wanted the Elephants in The Greatest Show on Earth to have a home there, with other Elephants, to be able to be, well, just Elephants.

The thing is, watching the children, i could see how delighted they were in seeing these majestic creatures. These children were able to see how majestic these large beautiful creatures were....and how intelligent they were.

And yes, i did think the same thoughts when i saw the tigers.....

How can you instill a love of animals like these without having them be in a Circus?

I don't have answers and i'm not into making this into a debate just yet.....

I just know that last night, i dreamed of taking these beautiful Elephants to Lek's Park....and letting them just be Elephants.

Snow Day.....

Folks in these parts are known for getting a bit excited when it snows. We are often made fun of, laughed at and called names like "snow pansies" because of the way we deal with snow events. (Yes, we do call them 'snow events'!) Truth is, well, we just aren't prepared for cold weather. We can handle a little of it, but when the snow starts or the ice shows up, well, we can't handle it. Most of this is due to the fact that snow machines that spread salt (geeze, i know that there is an official name for that machine....) aren't something that we have around here.

The temperatures lately have been stunningly cold. Something called the Polar Vortex is going on....we just call it d@amn cold. School buses don't start and the schools heating systems don't keep up with the need. School is called off....Mamas groan and children cheer!

Today is one of those days.....

Pickles is not thrilled, but Emma was.

Crafts were done, soup and crackers were eaten, movies were watched, cookies were baked.

A most perfect snow day!

Santa!

Best.

Day.

Ever.

Photographs by Kristen Weigel Photography

A sweet moment....

Emma and her Daisy Troop
This past Sunday, Emma's Daisy Troop had their monthly meeting and a Christmas Party. Gifts were to be exchanged between the girls and they would get their Daisy vests as a gift, too.

All of the girls drew numbers.

Emma was number 3.

Of course, there is always someone who draws the last number.

Emma was thrilled with the little hot chocolate gift she picked.

The last little girl, who was a friend of Emma's, didn't exactly like the gift she picked.

To be fair, she really didn't get to "pick" as she was the last number drawn.

After decorating cookies, the little girl's mother who didn't like her gift, came up to me with tears in her eyes.

It seems that my little Emma went to her friend and her mother and asked the little girl if she would like to swap gifts. She said she could tell that she didn't "wreally like" her gift so if she wanted, they could trade gifts.

They traded gifts.

Hugs all around.

I am touched by my daughter's heart and sweetness....

Photo Mish-Mash....

....and this is what happens when one doesn't blog/write as one should.

Not sure why i've gotten so very far behind this year, but my New Years Resolution is to write (at the very least) once a week. I think that i am being overly optimistic, but maybe if i set a time, the same time, daily to write, i'll keep up. There are so many things i wanted to write about but held off of writing about--there were things in the adoption world that bothered me that i wanted to write about, some political stuff and just some news events. But i struggle with if any of those subjects even belong on this blog...those writings of mine belong somewhere but i'm just not sure where those writings belong.

Christmas is right around the corner.

In fact, Christmas is only 16 days away as i write this.

Yes, you read that right.

SIXTEEN DAYS.

It's the best time and the worst time of year for me.

It's the best time of year because of Emma....

It's the worst time of year because i miss my Mama even more than usual. My Mama's birthday falls on Christmas Day, so it's a bittersweet day. I think back to all of the gifts my sister and i bought for her (one year we bought her a parakeet!), all of the baking she and my Dad would do and how much i looked forward to going home for Christmas each year. And of course, i think about our last Christmas with her, how she was barely able to get out of bed to open presents, how my Dad rolled her out in her wheelchair so she could see the tree.

That was the last time she was out of her room....i miss her so very much. What i wouldn't do to have her with me again! To just hear her voice....

Our Christmas Cards are done and will go into the mail in the morning. I'm actually a little early this year! I love this year's Christmas Card....it really turned out pretty. I know that a lot of folks don't send Christmas Cards anymore, but it's something i love to do. It's a time to put on Christmas music, make hot chocolate and think about the folks that i am sending them to...and to be thankful for each one of them.

Our Christmas plans are all over the place this year and haven't been finalized. I am hoping that we will wake up at home for Christmas and save our traveling for after Christmas. There really isn't a better place to be than home for Christmas. I love our home even if it is a pain to clean and seems like a never-ending job. I love the arches in this house, i love how comfortable it is, i love just about every part of this home. The windows are so pretty and the sun and warmth those windows let in is amazing.

In the snow last year....
Of course, i am not done shopping yet. We have really made an effort the past few years not to over-due the whole gift giving thing. The gifts are not the reason for the season and heaven knows we have more than enough "stuff". Watching Emma open presents from Santa, though, is more fun than i ever would have imagined. To see her surprised face and hear her giggles is a gift in itself. It makes the stress of the season worth it.

More later....