Adoption in Guatemala

Adoption in Guatemala
Dear Emma,

I am not sure at what point i'll let you read this journal but there is so much going on in Guatemala right now with international adoptions that it makes me sad beyone words. As you grow up, you'll learn that women in the world don't all have the same rights and freedom that women in the United States have. Simple, basic rights, like being able to vote, to run for office, the freedom of education; things that i think sometimes as women in the United States we take for granted. We have so much as a country, Emma. Yes, there are bad things that happen here, there still is racial divide, still hate crimes that occur....but overall, as a country, i think that we have the best of the freedoms possible.

I belong to a few yahoo groups on adoption. They were a life saver while we started our adoption of you and an even better support as we waited and figured out the processes. Many sad stories happened on the boards, like adoptions falling thru, children not being available for adoption, children getting sick and dying due to the sickness and never coming home to their adoptive families. There are happy stories too, of children who do come home to parents who love them beyond words, who are thrilled to be parents, who then do all they can do as parents to love their children. Many of these parents (i dare say not all!) make plans to go back to Guatemala with their children to show them what a beautiful country Guatemala is. There is extreme poverty in Guatemala...sometimes so extreme that it hurts your heart to hear of it or even begin to imagine it.

The below post is one that i made this morning on a thread that i was reading. Whether a good or bad post, well, it's how i was feeling this morning. Women's rights is something near and dear to my heart....and i hope that one day in your lifetime, all women will have those basic rights...especially in your beautiful Guatemala

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Doesn't it bother anyone other than me, that so many people keep writing to this (and other) lists comparing children to toys and other commodities? Comparing the responsiblities of the toy makers in China to the resposiblities to the folks in the United States? I truly do understand that folks are looking for some parallels with regard to holding people/agencies/ businesses accountable, but isn't that the very thing that bothers us about other adoption conversations (e.g. people asking how much it cost to buy our kids . . . people accusing birth parents of selling their children)? Please understand that this comment is not to criticize anyone in particular, just to point out that the conversation on this level is disturbing at best to me.

I just caught a the last half hour of a show on the documentary channel last weekend, maybe called the Plight of Guatemalan Women and I think that would show the difference in the attitude and violence toward women that is different there than here in the U.S. Please don't think i am trying to imply that all people are like that, but it's very common for crimes to happen to women and young girls and horrific things like burning people there DOES happen. It has been documented. The police do nothing in most cases. It hasn't been that many years that our country didn't have resources for battered women and still in rural areas there's nothing. The resources in Guatemala are so very limited to help women compared to what we have here--obviously, take a look at the adoption issues and lack of resources for pregnant women. I know in my limited travels that I haven't seen much of the "real" Guatemala. I have read books though that are very disturbing. And while i know that reading a book and 'seeing the real Guatemala' is a very different thing, it sounds very unsafe now for women and will probably be that way for a very, very long time.

I think that some folks miss the point about women's rights in Guatemala. Guatemalans are, as a general rule, nice people. But the lack of resources, education, justice and law
enforcement in many areas, leave the most vulnerable part of the population, women and children, at the mercy of the men. The Inter American Commission of Human Rights has a report that you may find too strong, but for us who live here, it sounds about right. I can provide the link if you like....but the sad fact is that men, and only men usually make the rules where women and children are concerned with very little (actually, i would dare to say none) input from women.

I have a friend who became friends with a woman from Guatemala who was here in the United States as a student with her husband. He beat her badly several times and finally she left and went to Safe Place - a home for battered women- with her 2 children and little else. This was shortly before Christmas one year. They spent Christmas with us, but
Safe Place had given her gifts- nice gifts- for her children. She and I were in talking, and she said that being here possibly saved her life. She said that in Guatemala the police do nothing about wife beatings, and that she would have had no recourse there, but to go on taking the beatings or leaving to live on the streets, that they had no facilities like Safe Place there. Until you take care of women and children in a country, well, i truly don't believe that the country will be a strong one. While educating men and boys is a good idea, educating women is even better as women will go back to their villages and share the info with other women. Men have a tendency to leave their communities for better areas once educated.

And so, maybe, just maybe, someone wants to talk about women's rights here . No one wants to have children stolen from their birthmoms . No one wants the birthmoms to feel coerced into giving up their children . . . but it seems curious that in a so-called effort to keep that from happening the authorities are quite interested in prosecuting the women who (possibly for very legitimate reasons) have used false identities, etc. to enable them to give their OWN biological children up for adoption. Women in Guatemala face great risk under everyday circumstances, add considering adoption to the mix and some may face extra abuse, torture and death. If the risk for putting a child up for adoption is being, say, burned to death by the members of their community (due to the serious beliefs that babies are sold for their body parts) and the women are doing it anyway it seems reasonable to assume that they (a) have the best interests of the children at heart, and (b) have "their reasons" for assuming false identities or moving around a lot or not being easily located, and (c) aren't in it for the money . . . at least not in the way people like to think.

Under what circumstances would we "sell" our children? No, seriously, lets face the dark and dirty question . . . picture your life such that the question of selling your child might hold some consideration for you . . . what would make you consider it? (And I don't mean the classic question of "is there an amount of money great enough to make you sell your child?" I mean "is there a circumstance dire enough?") Then grant the same intensity of love you have for your kids (even before you had them "home" by birth or adoption) to the women in question here. The women of Guatemala alive today are survivors . . . survivors of war, abuse, torture . . . survivors of poverty, terror, fear . . . survivors of racism, sexism, hatred . . . they make choices for their children in a cultural landscape of very, very few options. If they get caught by the government for concealing their identity or by their husbands for getting pregnant when they're not supposed to or by their communities for putting them up for adoption what happens then?

What then? Tell me, what then? Who truly will loose?

The children. That's who will loose. Innocent childen, that's who.



Know, my dear Emma that i love you with all my heart. Words cannot describe how my soul fills when you smile at me or grab my hand or hug me. Words cannot describe how my heart fills when you greet your Daddy with squeals and smiles and giggles. You have become your Dad's and my greatest blessing, little one.

Love you to the moon and back....

Mommy