the most horrible mother ever. EVER.
Robert is in FL for some kind of convention. Emma and i have been on our own for almost five days now...Emma keeps asking for him. "Wheres dada? Dadadaaa?" she'll ask frequently during the day. Yeah, he's the 'fun' one, i'm the diaper changin' lady, the stuffed animal finder, book reader and food giver. ;) Emma and i have kept busy...me by packing stuff for our move and Emma by "unpacking" stuff that i pack. Needless to say, not much has gotten done.
This afternoon, i could tell that Emma was ready for her nap. We were both on the floor and she was playing with her barrel full of monkeys (she knows all of the colors and numbers, btw!) and she was getting frustrated as she couldn't get the lid on the top of the barrell. Finally, frustration won, and she threw the barrell lid and turned around and hit me in the face, catching the corner of my eye. I sat there, completly stunned. I sat up, grabbed her arms and said sternly, "Emma, we do not hit. Hitting hurts." She tried to hit me again...so i picked her up and carried her upstairs. She was very upset, screaming for Paci, her beloved stuffed pink elephant. I got her to her crib, put her in it and told her that it was nap time. I then closed the door to her crying....
....and sat on the other side of the door and cried along with her. Within 5 minutes, it was competley silent in Emma's room. I went down stairs and got Paci, went back to Emma's room and snuck in. She was asleep, cuddled up in her cute sleeping position with her tush in the air. I put Paci under her arm, smoothed her hair, covered her up and silently apologized for getting angry.
Still, I was upset...upset that i got angry that she hit me. I know that Emma doesn't mean it...she's a child, and she's frustrated that she can't speak yet and get the words out that she needs--and it was naptime. But i was ashamed. Ashamed that i was angry at my little daughter. It's not the first time that she's hit me--i had a conversation with her preschool teacher to ask about her hitting and she said that she's only seen Emma hit once in the entire time that she's been there. She hit a little girl named Julie after Julie hit her in the face, trying to get a toy that Emma had. Emma has never hit her teachers. She did tell me that it is a phase that children sometimes go through, for me not to be upset about it and that Emma would grow out of it. A friend of mine that i spoke to about this said that her son also is a hitter. The only thing that has gotten her son's attention is when they spank him on the tush for hitting. I don't think that approach is going to work for me--spanking a small child because she hit? I'm going to spank her on the tush to get my point across that you shouldn't hit?
So, i'm feelin' yucky.
I'm off to find some chocolate. I hope that there's some in this house....and that i haven't packed it.
5 thoughtful comments:
I agree... it seems hypocritical to hit for hitting. Don't feel bad, every mom loses their temper from time to time. If hitting becomes a bigger problem, try a time out. One minute for every year... example, if she's 2 years old, put her on time out for 2 minutes. Find one spot to be the time out spot. We use our bottom step. Don't use her bed because you don't want her to think bedtime or nap time is a punishment.
If she hits you just put her on the time out spot, tell her hitting is NOT ok. Don't say anything more. If she gets up, tell her she HAS to sit on her time out spot and put her back. If she gets up again, don't say anything to her, just put her back on the spot. Eventually she will get it and stay put. When the two minutes is up, let her up, tell her again that hitting is NOT ok. Give her a hug and go on with your day. Don't harp on it. If it happens again, repeat. She'll get it. Like her teacher said, it's a phase. This too shall pass :).
Hey Iss,
When ana hits, we take her hand and say no no ana, we don't hit, we do gentle touch.
It works and this to shall pass. We have all been there.
You did the perfect thing, you put her safely down for her nap. Nothing wrong with letting her cio.
Being a mommy is so hard, isn't it! Claire is hitting these days, too, and it seems like nothing is getting her attention. I thumped her hand and said, "No hitting!" I don't really think that was a great approach, but it got her attention.
I do know that I am grateful for a God who forgives me when I fight back at Him! It seems like it is during the moments that I struggle with my girls, that I really grow and learn a lot about His tender approach in raising me.
You are a great Mommy! Mommy guilt will get you every time, so don't let it get the best of you. (Man, if this was the worst that I had done this week, my kids would think I was a saint :O) The fact is, we all make mistakes..we're human. Kiss that sweet baby and tell her that you are sorry that you got mad and that you love her and that sometimes Mommies make mistakes, too. She will forgive you... Heck, she's probably already forgotten.
Love you! Cya tomorrow!
If I've learned anything in the 21 years I've been a mother, it's that I am far from perfect and I WILL make mistakes. The key is recognizing the mistake, apologizing and saying "Mommy was wrong. I'm sorry." And then, of course, trying not to repeat the mistake.
You're doing great. You're stressed and so is she. It WILL get better!
Parenting defintely brings out yuckiness in me some days. It is always more difficult when I am worn out and drained.
I think it is a beautiful picture of the Gospel when we mess up & our children forgive us, loving us unconditionally. That's what Jesus has chosen to do too! Praise God that we don't have to be perfect, but can rely on His forgiveness.
I bought the Love Dare cards instead of the book because they are easy to put out and good reminders for me. I have enjoyed them and have been challenged by them. I would recommend them:)
By the way...I want to talk to you about adopting sometime:)
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