Three years...

 

 

 

 

...ago today, we met Emma for the first time. I struggle what to call this day as i don't really have a fondness for the "gotcha' day". It is a day that i usually spend in a great deal of thought and prayer for Emma's birth mother; wondering how she is and hoping that life has treated her softly. I pray that she is well and that she somehow knows how much Robert and i love and cherish Emma.

As forgetful as i am, i am suprised that i remember this day in such detail. I remember peeking out of our hotel door, seeing a little dark haired baby with our agency contact. I remember walking down the hallway to the room to meet Emma with Robert, i remember the feel of his hand, how excited and scared we both were. I remember us stopping half way to the room where we would meet Emma, just to hug each other as we knew it was no longer just "us"; we were about to be a family to a little girl who needed a home.

I remember being surprised at how much dark, soft hair Emma had. My sister, when she was a baby, had the very same lush, dark hair. I remember the tears from both Robert and i as we held Emma for the first time; the tears were for many different reasons. Tears that we were holding a small child who needed a family and who made us now a family. Tears for Emma's birth mother whose heart much ache more than i could ever imagine. Tears for a little girl who shyly looked at both of us with wonder and curiousity.

My sister and Robert stayed in the first room to get all of Emma's info, like feeding schedule and her likes/dislikes. I held Emma and went to sit in the other room, wanting to be alone with her. As i sat, i looked down at this little one and heard a little sigh as she held on to my finger and gently closed her eyes to sleep.

As she slept, i prayed.

I'm sure that many mothers pray over their children the first time they "meet". I wish that i had come up with something magnificent to say as i prayed, but i didn't. It was one of those prayers that starts with praying for Emma's birth mother's heart to praying for Emma and then to praying about us as parents; asking God to guide us, to protect Emma as she grows and to help Robert and i do the things that we needed to do as loving parents.

It is stunning what details i rememeber from that day. Me, who forgets birthdays, who forgets that i'm cooking something, who forgets the time, can remember so very much about this day. It is, without a doubt, the most important day of my life.

As i look back over the past three years, we've learned and changed so very much. Of course, Emma has physically grown (she can now turn on the room lights without her little stool as of yesterday!) but it's so much more than that. We've learned how little patience we really have, lol, but we've also learned that love, when given freely, can come back to you tenfold and grow. Through Emma, we've learned to remember the grandness of God's gifts and to take the time to see them again through Emma's eyes. How all rocks and bugs/crawly things are amazing and should be touched and investigated. How singing "Jesus wuffs da wittle cwhiden" is best sung at the top of your lungs at any time you want even at 3am. How it's okay to color outside of the lines...because everyone colors different.


A very thankful...