Again.

A few short weeks ago, i received a call from a friend about Leslee, a woman in our MOPS group that i have admired a great deal. Leslee has four small children and is the wife of a minister. She is a gentle soul, Leslee is, with a heart that is giving and full of love for her family.

The phone call from Leslee's best friend, Jennifer, literally took my breath away as i learned that her mother had cancer and was not given much time.

"Much time" as in weeks or days.

I wanted to help. I wanted to do something, anything.

What i really wanted was to make my sweet friend's mother better.

Better, you know, as in cured.

You can imagine all of the emotions that i felt and how i felt like, at that very moment, yelling at God and then begging him to stop what was going on with Leslee's sweet Mama.

Last night, i received this email from Jennifer:

Our sweet, precious sister in Christ went home to be with our Lord this evening, about an hour ago. She fought really hard, especially these last few days. I know most of you did not have the privilege of knowing her, but I did for the past 20 years. What a kind, caring, funny, loving servant she always was. She was a wife of 44 years to Larry, mother to three grown children (Sean, Leslee, and Wes) and a grandmother of eight (Emily, Christopher, Carly, Samara, Grace, Josiah, Hannah and Lindsay). She has always been like a mother to me and I will truly miss her.

I can say from the bottom of my heart thank you to each one if you who have reached out to Leslee and her family during this difficult time. Whether it was food, money, prayers, a kind word or email, it will never be forgotten.

There will be two services for her mother, one in Lafayette, Georgia and one here in Hendersonville. As soon as I have details about that, I will let you know as you may want to support Leslee.

Thank you again!!

Jennifer


I guess that God did stop what was happening to Leslee's Mama.

But not in the way i wanted Him to stop it.

It works like that sometimes, doesn't it?

But i hate this. I hate that cancer has taken away Leslee's Mama. I know, i know, Leslee's Mama is in heaven, she's not sick anymore, and she's with God. I know.

Really, i do know this.

I know that her 'work' on earth as God's servant is complete and she's where God wants her to be.

But what about the rest of us?

Okay, mainly me at this moment....

I want her here.

I want Leslee's Mama here on earth with her family.

I sound amazingly like a four year old, don't i?

This family has lost a beloved mother, a wonderful wife, and a loving grandma. Friends who count on Leslee's Mama have lost an amazing friend. The church that Leslee's Mama attends has lost an amazing woman who loved God with all her heart.

I want to be encouraging to Leslee, but my heart, well, screams of things that are not so encouraging, like:

~The pain of loosing your mother does NOT go away. You just learn to deal with it a little better.

~You will ALWAYS wonder: "What would my Mama think/do/say about this?"

~Holiday, birthdays, and seasons are never the same. They are forever different, as is your life without her....because no one can take her place.

~You're going to get angry about loosing your Mama. Really, really angry. I got scary angry. And sometimes, i'm still angry. (I'm sure that may not be true for everyone, but.....well, anger happens to many who loose loved ones.)

~You won't believe that you can miss someone like you miss your Mama.

~You wish for one more, just one more, hug from her.

These aren't the things to say to someone that has just lost their Mama and i know this. None of these things should be said.

I try very hard to understand "God's will" and "God's plan". I don't understand. And maybe, i'm not suppose to understand or figure it out. I guess that i'll just have to work on thinking about that for a bit more as i struggle with that.

I am grateful, though, that Leslee had such an amazing mother. It has, i'm sure, shaped Leslee into the woman that i admire so much today. Leslee will pass on the goodness, love of the Lord, and all the gifts that her mother gave to her to HER children.

And so the legacy of Leslee's Mama will live on...

...as God has planned.