This isn't really a post about Wade Belak. It's kinda about Wade, though. There are plenty of blog posts and news stories out right now about the well-loved former Nashville Predators hockey player who committed suicide two days ago in a Toronto hotel room, leaving behind a wife and two small daughters.
I guess this post is about every potential "Wade" out there...and how that potential "Wade" could be a family member or cherished friend and you might not even know it.
I'm not sure what lead Wade to commit suicide. Only Wade and God know that, but i'm willing to bet that depression (that ugly word that no one really wants to admit to much less say out loud) played a part in his death. No one close to him apparently had any idea that this 35 year young man was depressed; i've heard and read stories about his outgoing, fun personality and his love of playing pranks on team mates. I do know from reading and seeing (yes, i do love attending hockey games and love the Nashville Predators!) that many of the Nashville Predator fans and his team mates loved the guy that they knew on the ice and off...
Like most folks with depression, i think that Wade was probably like most folks who fight depression, in that he was able to hide his inside, from friends and family. It's not that our friends and family are a bunch of boobs who don't pay attention, we are just very, very good at hiding in broad daylight. No one really wants to admit to admit anything like depression, for reasons such as not wanting to worry friends and family, thinking that we can 'pull ourselves out of it', that 'it' will go away and my own favorite personal reason: we don't want friends and family closely watching us, waiting for us to 'nut up' right in front of them. And so, it is easier to just stay quiet and fight the fight alone. Most of us have fun, engaging personalities and never, in a million years, would you ever guess that depression was a part of us or our lives.
Yes, i am 'secretly'
I have been, i think, for a long time. On and off....much better now, though. I think that depression and alcoholism run in my family; being as it is, no one talked about that stuff. Ever. Never. Perhaps it's that way in a lot of families. If you're a child who grows up around this kinda stuff, well, you don't really understand that it's not a good place to be. It kind of becomes your normal and therefore, not anything to really talk about. I just figured i was moody.
I know. I know.
I don't know what the answers are to stopping potential Wade's from doing something like Wade Belak did. I do know the heartache and sadness that comes with those actions to friends and family. Their lives are forever changed and they live their lives with holes in their hearts, missing the one who is gone. Add that to wondering what they could have done to stop someone from taking their lives, and the heartache seems endless to family members and friends. What "What Could I Have Done" questions can haunt a person, you know.
I've often heard that to commit suicide is a coward's way out and i totally disagree. I think that one truly, truly comes to believe that their loved one and friends are best without them around. Yes, twisted, but that's what i believe. To get up each and every day, and face the day when it takes every single thing you have, is really hard work and i don't think that is understood unless you've been there. You not only lose your faith, but you lose the one thing that you should never lose: hope in tomorrow.
Talk to your loved ones, love and hug on each other and be kind to others. Take time to make that phone call, don't just text. Send a card and let someone know how much they mean to you and that you love them. Take time for lunch with a friend. Go to church and invite someone to go with you. Invite folks over that you know are spending the holidays without family. Meet your neighbors and actually talk to them. Leave work early one day and take your child out for ice cream after school.
You never know when you'll be someone's life line....
1 thoughtful comments:
very sad and scary. i had a friend who committed suicide years ago and she hid her depression very well. i have another friend who is currently toting the line and it puts a pit in my stomach.
Post a Comment