A shopping day....

A shopping day....


I miss my Mom, Emma. I try not to, but i do....it hurts my heart that she is not here to enjoy you and be a part of your life. I suppose that i'm being childish, but it so bothers me that some of our family members don't call or email to ask about you. Your Uncle Don and Aunt Claudine ask about you sometimes......i know that everyone is busy with their own lives, but i still expected folks to be involved. My Mom would have been, Emma and that knowledge makes me miss her even more. I keep hoping that i will stop missing her so much....maybe when you loose someone, you eventually get to the point where the ache in your heart doesn't ache so much.

Love you to the moon and back.......

Mommy

Happy First Thanksgiving, Emma

HAPPY FIRST THANKSGIVING, SWEETIE!!!

Today is a special, special day....it's our first Thansksgiving together! These photos were taken this morning....you are always a happy baby in the mornings and this morning was no exception. It's noon now and you are napping so i'm catching up with things and about to do Mommy chores. We'll be having Thanksgiving dinner later this afternoon and hopefully, you'll be awake to eat with us!

The only sad part today for me is that it's the first Thanksgiving without my Mom. My heart aches that she is not here with us, Emma, it's like a piece of my heart is missing. But you and your Daddy fill the rest of my heart with joy....and i know that somehow, she's here in my heart.

Love you so very much.......

Mommy



Waiting Forever
Waiting forever, or so it seems
Waiting forever for so many dreams
Waiting forever to see her sweet face
Waiting forever, waiting forever

Waiting forever, while across the world
Waiting forever is my little girl
Waiting forever, both of us are
Waiting forever, waiting forever

Waiting forever, so much love to give
Waiting forever, she's just beginning to live
Waiting forever, a mother and child are
Waiting forever, waiting forever

Waiting forever to fly in the sky
Waiting forever to see her bright eyes
Waiting forever will soon come to an end
Then no more waiting forever, ever again

By Susan
Waiting for my precious Lily Ana
October 28, 2006

Later in the evening....

Well, you slept thru dinner, so i fed you Stage 3 turkey, rice and veggies later. Thanksgiving dinner was nice, it was just your Daddy and i. I had not idea how much he missed having family around. Family is a funny thing, little one....as much as you love your family, well, they sometimes make choices that don't make much sense. Of course, it seems that it is at those times that they need you to love them more. Your Daddy's sisters are going through some changes in their lives that neither one of us really agree with. Perhaps that harsh, maybe i should say that we don't understand their choices. Family and children, your Daddy and i think, should always come first....and we don't think that the choices that either one are making are taking either one of those important things into consideration. And that makes us incredibly sad. I think that the hardest thing is to let family members make their own choices even if you think the choices that they are making aren't the best. I've now been on both sides of the fence as far as watching bad choices being made and being the one who makes them. Neither side is an easy side, little one...

You are now asleep....and your Daddy and i are going to work on the Christmas tree!!!! :D

Love you to the moon and back.....

Mommy

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Christmas Cards and such....

Christmas Cards and such....


This will probably be the photo(s) that i'll be sending out in our Christmas cards this year. It's so hard to believe that Christmas is right around the corner! We are moving into Winter and it is finally chilly here; tonight it is 42 degrees. I love to watch the seasons- each season is beautiful in it's own way and it is a toss up which is my favorite. I love Fall for the colors of the trees and the knowledge that the holidays are around the corner and i love Spring because everything seems to come back to life. I hope that you'll be a nature kind of woman and love plants and trees. I've always loved looking at them, wondering how they grow and watching them change. Our house, of course, you know, is covered in plants. Plants are like good friends, you always want to have plenty of them around.



Are you simply not the most beautiful child ever?

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Fall Photos

Ridin' in my stoller....

Ridin' in my stroller....

Today I kissed an angel,
This angel child of mine,
Though not of my creation,
My child by Gods design.......

Swingin'....oh, yes, i'm swingin'....

Swingin'....oh, yes, i'm swingin'!


Today your Daddy and i took you to the park to swing! It was your first time on the swings, lol, and as you can tell by these photos, you had a very good time. I did my best to get some good photos, but you were too busy looking around at the other children and enjoying yourself to pay attention to my taking your photo! It was so neat to see my little one on the swing.....and of course, a moment to get teary eyed. Could this be the same little baby that was put in my arms a little more than 4 months ago? The quiet little baby who would just lay there and look at the world around her? You are growing so very fast and i am trying to keep up by taking photos of you as you grow. It's important to me, Emma, for you to have your life with us in photos....i may not know much about your birth family and your birth mother, but i can make sure that you know about YOU and i think that is one of the best gifts that i can give you. These photos were taken while your Daddy had you swinging...i'm almost not sure who had a better time, you or your Daddy! I love to watch him watch you; his face lights up when you giggle at him or do your girly squeal. I fall in love with him all over again, every time i watch him with you. He is such a good Daddy, Emma and he loves you from the bottom of his heart. I see a special bond between the two of you....and it gives me peace.

You are down for your afternoon nap as i type this. I think that your Daddy thinks i'm nuts because i've drug upstairs my silver tree. I so love this tree....it's my first baby tree and i have a photo of me in front of it at 3 months old. It's not a traditional green tree, it's kinda (okay, it really is) guady, but i love it. Lucky for me, LOL, you seem to love it, too!!! I need some more ornaments for it and as soon as you get up, we are going shopping for some.

Guess who is up? Gotta run to get you....

Love you to the moon and back......

Mommy

Nine Months Old!

Nine Months Old!

Oh, yes, guess who is NINE MONTHS OLD??

Yep, you are! We've had a very good day so far....and of course, a shopping trip is in order for us today after your nap.

Nine months old.

How did we get here so quickly, little one? You are napping now....we played peek-a-boo at lunch and i will forever remember your little girl giggles! I love to make you laugh and smile, Emma. I can feel my soul fill with love every time you smile or laugh at me. How can i love you this much? When i hold you close to me, my heart melts.

I often wonder about the things that i should write to you in this journal. There are so many things that i want to say to you, so many things that i'm not sure whether to say or not. This journal is to be about you, but i think that it's important for you to know us, too. I've taken so many photos of you since you've been home with us! I want you to have photos of you growing up, changing, learning things and i want you to see how very much i love you. Being a parent to you has saved me in a way and has brought me and my soul back to life in a way that astounds me. I understand now the concept of unconditional love.....

It is also on days like this that i think about your birth mother. I think of her often, Emma. I wonder how she is, how her life is and if she knows how blessed we feel that we have you in our lives. I wish that i could tell her how you are, how beautiful you are, how happy you are....and how you have a home, clothes, food and toys and parents who love you so very much. I have come to believe that people are linked together for whatever reason in life and we will forever be linked to your birth mother. She will hold a special place in our hearts, Emma. Because of her, we are a family.

Love you to the moon and back.....

Mommy

Happy Four Month Anniversary!!

Our Four Month Anniversary!

Yesterday afternoon, you and i recieved flowers!!!! I'll take a photo of them later today when they open up so you'll have a photo of your first flower bouqet....until i read the card from your Daddy, i had no idea why we were getting flowers! Yesterday was our 4th Anniversary of being home here in Nashville and your Daddy remembered by sending us my favorite flowers: Peruvian Lilies. These flowers are grown from the high mountains of the Andes in South America. The way that they are shipped, they need 8-12 hours in water and flower food to come to 'life' so i'll be sure to capture how beautiful they are.

The past four months have flown by, Emma. It is scary to me how fast they have flown by! Thanksgiving is in 9 days, i think, and then we'll be coming up on Christmas. I thought about yesterday how this is when your Daddy and i thought that we would be bringing you home; we were so taken by surprise when we got the call in late June that our adoption was done and we could go pick you up! We feel so blessed that we were able to bring you home at such a young age so we wouldn't miss out on your learning to roll over, crawl, stand.....

You are napping, but i'm going to check on you....you had a rough night last night when i put you down to sleep. Let's just say that you were not happy and screamed.....and screamed. No tears, but you were screaming. I went in a few times and so wanted to each one of those times to rock you to sleep. You were so tired; you kept rubbing your eyes and yawning thru the screaming! I finally gave in and picked you up and rocked you till you were even sleepier....and layed you back down. I got 3/4 of the way back down the stairs when you noticed that i wasn't there and you once again let me know that you weren't happy! I finally sat on the stairs by your room and waited till you fell asleep and then i went to back in to check on you. You were cuddled up with the pink elephant, sleeping soundly.

Love you to the moon and back...........

Mommy

Big Girl Bath Day!

Big Girl Bath Day

After much nagging from your Daddy, i let him take out the liner in your baby tub. Oh, i had many excuses...."she may be afraid of the water" to "she's still too little" but your Daddy did his best not to chuckle at me. As you can see from the above photos, you are NOT afraid of the water and you are NOT too little. Perhaps the best excuse would have been the honest one: i'm trying to stop you from growing up too fast! So, my goal is now to be a part of this amazing growth instead of trying to slow it, Emma. It is so amazing to see you grow so fast, learning new things.

You have learned the stairs, too....but we are right behind you as you climb. How did you get so determined? :) You climbed up all of the 17 or so stairs leading up to your room yesterday before your bath, little one. One step after the other, step by step and into your room. I watched you through my tears, you are so amazing and so smart! You love to look at the bees in your room and the photos that i have put in there of you and your Daddy. You giggle when you look at these and it makes me giggle, too! I put those bees and butterflies in your room so you could touch them....and you do! In fact, you ripped one of the bees off of your mirror yesterday when your Daddy was changing your diaper! He was too busy with a poopy diaper to worry about your ripping the bee off of the mirror, lol.....

We visited your Daddy's office today.....and your photos are all over it. The women in the office ohh and ahh'ed over you. It was fitting to see that you've now learned to wave! Where didthat come from? sigh....i did say that i was going to encourage this growing and learning thing of yours, didn't i? I had to smile at your waving though....it was unexpected but of course, so cute.

I need to check on you. We've had a busy day with going to the MOPS meeting and then shopping so even though we got home at 5pm, you are still napping. We need to do a bath and some dinner but you are sleeping too soundly for me to bother you just yet.

Love you, love you, love you, my daughter.....

Mommy

Favorite Black & White Photos