Is she yours?

I suppose that all adoptive parents have questions asked to them about their children at one time or another. I've read about many of the questions that other adoptive parents have been asked on an adoption site that i visit often. Some of the questions are funny like: "Are they your REAL children?" and "Are you their REAL Mommy?" and my favorite "Is she yours?" but for some reason, i never thought anyone would ask 'me' a question about Emma. I'm not sure why, i just never thought anyone would. You mean she doesn't look like me? Really? To be honest, it rarely crosses my mind that we don't look alike. She does have this beautiful black hair like my husband and this incredible skin. She's very fair and such a cutie. Yeah, yeah, i know that i'm basis, but really she is a beautiful little girl.

Well, today, someone did asked me "the question" of "Is she yours?". Every Tuesday i take a bible study class and Emma goes into the church day care. She loves it there; loves the other children and the care givers are really, really good. Today, after i had gotten Emma's jacket off and she toddled away to play, one of the care givers asked me: "Is she yours?" I guess i must have looked goofy because she continues with "I hope i'm not being rude by asking......" as she trails off. I then realize that she's asking me if Emma is mine. Don't ask me why, LOL, i just assumed that everyone else thought the same thing that i did...OF COURSE SHE'S MINE! And then, i wonder why she's asking....and how do i answer, and is she asking because i'm old and chubby (sigh, don't beat me up, readers, these are my thoughts....my friends don't think that i'm chubby or old, lol) or heck, why is she asking?? Don't i look like a Mommy?? It's what i'm wearing, isn't it? Do Mommies wear Cole Haan shoes? I'm sure it's my hair, isn't it?? It is sad how my mind rambles, eh?

I finally find my voice and after smiling and saying "Oh yes, she's mine! Isn't she beautiful? My husband and i adopted her from Guatemala. I can't tell you how blessed we feel that we have her in our lives!" And as i look up, i see this woman staring at my Emma with tears in her eyes. Her story tumbles out...how it has been a dream of hers to adopt from China since she was a teenager. She wasn't sure why China, she just felt 'called' to adopt from there. Unfortunately, the 'rules' for adopting from China have changed recently and there are many new rules and due to her weight, her and her husband's BMI was much too high to be able to adopt from China. She and her husband now remain childless as they figure out what to do. They are looking into another country and they are also looking into domestic and the state foster to adopt program. She is so wonderful with those children in Emma's group and i know that she would make a wonderful Mommy no matter what her weight is. There are so many children out there that need a Mommy and Daddy to love them....

I think that i may have a new walking buddy if i can talk her into it...she is scared to try to loose because she's tried so many times before and failed. She is looking in gastric bypass surgery and she feels it's her only hope to be healthy. She tells me that she's always loved how i dressed and how i carry myself and how she sees me in the park with the stroller and Emma and wishes that she could be doing the same. Of course, i am amazed that anyone looks at me much less thinks that of me; she must have me confused with another Mommy. She thinks it's impossible to loose weight on her own...she is such a nice woman and is so good with those children in her class and it breaks my heart to hear her words. As i look at her, i see some of me. Scared of trying for failing, scared of not trying at all, scared of being trapped in her body forever and scared that she will never be free of the weight to go after her dreams. And i walk away promising myself that i will not let weight be my excuse anymore. I refuse to let my weight be a roadblock...especially since i'm working on it. And i want the same things for this sweet woman. And even if she doesn't know it yet, she's my new walking buddy...