I've been on a 'Get-Healthy-You're-A-Mommy' plan for a while now. It's funny, when i look in the mirror sometimes, i don't recognize myself. Gone is the runner and healthy girl from my high school and college days and like most folks, over the years, well, i've not been healthy. In fact, i dare say that i take my health for granted. But since becoming a Mommy, i realize that all of this starts with me. How Emma will see her body, how Emma will eat food, how Emma will make choices ALL start with me. It's hard to be a leader when you're not a leader yourself. And so, i'm a huge work in progress. Some days are very good, some days not so good and other days? Don't ask, but overall, i feel like i'm on the right path. I wasted a lot of time beating myself up for being 'fat'....no point in that as it's truly just a wasted of time. I don't mind being an "older" Mommy, but i do mind being the fat, older Mommy who doesn't have the energy to keep with her daughter and family.
I had a very good week thus far....while there is distance to go in this journey to a healthy life, it is slowly coming together. I have re-vamped my food choices (i've cut out my morning peanut butter and toast and replaced it with Kashai and fruit or oatmeal; i've taken to eating spinach salads at lunch with lots of fresh veggies and fruit and i've lighten my dinner meals) and that has seemed to have helped. I've also taken to eating slowly and putting my fork down while eating. The soda is gone and i truly wished that i had given that up sooner. I gave it up the end of January; only having a diet soda occasionally. I drink water only now...and i'm playing with the thought of being a vegetarian. It's a huge choice so i'm trying to ease myself into this, so we'll see. I do know that i feel better when i don't eat meat, but i love milk and cheese. I'm not on a quest to make everyone around me a vegan, it's just something that i think may be a wise choice for me.
Here is my latest favorite quote from Ramona, a spark buddy of mine who is an absolutely brilliant writer with a beautiful soul: "How many times have you told yourself "I can't do that"? Most of us probably say it more often than we realize. Every time you are faced with a challenge, do you automatically think of all of the things holding you back or do you think about all of the things have to make it possible? A positive attitude about yourself can catapult you into higher achievement. So, the next time you hear yourself saying " I can't", remember, YOU CAN!" Needless to say, the above quote is in my motivational notebook! :)
Emma and i have been doing a lot of singing especially at dinner and lunch time...which is funny as i sing horribly. Really, really, really horribly! Like cat-in-heat sounding horribly! Funny, though, she doesn't seem to notice my off-key attempts and has learned to clap and bounce and giggle as i sing "If your happy and you know it" and the "Itsy-Bitsy Spider". Of course, she may be clapping and bouncing and laughing in an attempt to try to get me to stop singing, lol, but it has been amazing. I want food to be fun and i want food to be fuel for her body and not something that she uses to soothe her soul with. She is now walking full time, rarely crawling anymore....and all of this requires more snacks and more fuel for her body. I have to say, my heart fills with joy every morning when i first go into her room and she says "Mama". My cup overflows and i am truly blessed to have this child in my life. And there is nothing like a child to make you look at your shortcomings....and being healthy is definitely a short coming of mine that i do not want to pass along to her.
Robert and i were looking at the many photos i've taken since Emma has come into our lives and we are in awe at how quickly she is growing and learning things. Where has time gone and how can i slow it down? It is so important for me to document everything for her; but as i look back on her blog, it's like i've blinked and she's now a toddler. She can point to our noses, her nose and her belly! I remember my mother telling me that i didn't understand about being a mother....and she was right. There are no words to explain the utter joy, the hard work, the awesome feelings of being a mother. I never could have imagined that a woman could love a child so much. I am trying to wean her from her bottle....she's ready, i think, but oddly enough, i'm not. I love the bottle time with her. We cuddle on the big red recliner and she holds my hand and looks into my eyes. Sometimes we both end up taking a nap together on the recliner. I know all of the reasons why it's important to get rid of the bottle....so i'm having a conversation with my heart to catch it up with my brain. :( Food wise, well, ba-bas need to go, i know....i wonder how early that babies connect comfort with ba-bas? I can see Emma relax when we have ba-ba time...and well, i do, too.
My Mother was a great example of what to eat, how to eat, how to exercise. I did very well until i went to college and then, i guess a brain fart happened and i forgot everything that she taught me. She drank water and ate fruits and veggies long before it was fashionable to do so. I hope that i can be this type of example for Emma...
Off to fix some dinner and to sing "If your happy and you know it".....
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