Loving Emma

Loving Emma

All children come from God....but for some, the journey home takes a little longer.

You are taking your late afternoon nap as i type this. I just crept in your room to check on you and you were cuddled up with your pink elephant, your little tush in the air, your little arm ove the pink elephant. No one could have described to me how much i could love you, Emma. You truly do have to be a Mommy to understand it. I love holding you close to me as i feed you your bottle and you hold my hand with yours, i love making you laugh and giggle. I know that time goes by in an instant as you grow up so i am trying to savor every moment with you.

And all of this makes me miss my Mom even more. I want her to be here with me as i figure out how to be a Mommy. I want her to be a Grandma to you. I want her to ice cupcakes with you on your birthdays. While this will be my happiest Christmas because of you, it will also be my saddest as my Mom won't be here. I keep waiting to not miss her as much, but it doesn't happen. I wonder if she did the things i do with you: did she sing to me? Did she splash me when i was in the tub? Did she say prayers over me like i do over you every morning and evening? Did she make those loud kissy noises that i do with you?

Love you to the moon and back..........

Mommy