I am very far behind in your personal blog, my dear Emma. Time keeps flying by for us as a family and while so many good things are happening to us as a family, well, some family members of our (okay, my side of the family....sigh) immediate family are making choices that are difficult to understand. And that's putting it lightly. While i understand that the choices you make in life are indeed YOUR choices, it crosses the line when your choices have the potential to change the course of your children's lives and those around you, forever. I think that you will learn that you have a responsibility to those that you surround yourself with, to those that you love. Love is never easy and honestly, it's sometimes messy but again, it's something that the more you pour your heart into, the more you heart grows. I think that sometimes folks fall in love and get married without realizing the great responsibly that comes with it. Perhaps it's immaturity or just not knowing....but falling in love and starting a family is truly one of the greatest responsibilities in life.
I do believe in karma and what you put out into the world will come back to you tenfold. If you only put out ten percent into the world (or into a relationship....) then that is what you will get out of it. (Trust me, dear daughter, i'll cover the mistakes i've made in picking partners....i can't stress enough the importance of choosing a mate but that's for another day.) I think and believe in loyalty and honesty...and i believe that when you make the decision to have a family, and more importantly children, you do what is in the best interest of your family. Period. I am afraid that as you grow up you will realize that i see a lot of life in a black and white context.... with very little gray. It is a part of my personality that i am always unsure about. Lucky for you, your Dad is not like me and will often understand the areas in gray that i have difficulty with. He is so good at seeing life in different shades of gray. That's not to say that he isn't ethical, your Dad just has the ability to see things in a way that most folks don't.
At no time do i ever believe that it is in any one's best interest for there to be an affair. To cheat on a spouse is a black and white issue with me. There is never any reason why this is an okay thing to do or make an excuse for. No one comes out ahead in these types of situations, Emma, no one. Betrayal leaves a trail of destruction that can never be repaired. The amount of hurt that can be done is surreal. Someone in our (my, sigh...) family is in the mist of an affair and has confided in me. I am angry, upset, and did i mention angry? Angry because i feel it is selfish. Angry because little children are involved. Angry because if this person would work as hard at their marriage as they are doing with this affair, maybe things would be better. Of course, i'm "sworn to secrecy". And of course, i had to tell your Dad. No secrets....i refuse to keep secrets from your Dad. No amount of advice, no amount of my talking, no amount of my pleading has changed what is going on. I'm sad for what is going on and i'm so thankful that my Mom isn't here to see what is going on. It is interesting to me at how selfish it is, the decision to have an affair. It touches everything around the person who makes this decision, no matter how much they would like to believe that they are hurting no one.
I do understand that mistakes can be made in life- and i've made my share of mistakes. But at no time is it okay to risk those around you for your own personal gain, for your own personal satisfaction. It is wrong. It is inexcusable. If and when you become a wife, and or a mother, you'll learn that others come first. It is one reason that i'm glad that i waited so long to become a mother. I had plenty of time to be selfish.....there is no room for selfish when you are a mother. Your family and your children and yes, even your husband come first. But, please don't misunderstand me--you have a duty to take care of yourself. Because if you don't, you can't take care of those you love around you.
Your Dad has a motto that goes "Know thyself, know thyself, know thyself more"....and he is so right. Know yourself, my daughter. Know who you are, what makes you happy, travel to see the world and find your passions. Take care of those around you, love those around you.
And try to never take them for granted.
Love you with all of my heart....
Mommy
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