Heartbreaking Photos....

I love photos. A photo can inspire you, give you hope, bring you to tears, and make you question God. While the written word is very powerful, photos have always 'spoken' to me in a different kind of way. I always 'see' more through a photo and notice the surroundings and features. I study photos, of often going back to see them time and time again to 'see' them in a different light...and getting lost in them.

I take photos mainly of my daughter, to capture moments that i want her to see herself in. I have no doubt that many of the images i take of her will never fade from my mind. But it is important for me to give her the gift of seeing herself through my eyes; i want her to see her learning things, enjoying life as a child, seeing things for the first time, seeing how her beauty isn't just skin deep. I sometimes take photos of other things, food that i've made, flowers, trees...but i secretly wonder what it would be like to take photographs of news events. I secretly want to be "that" photographer...i don't only want to be a "Mommy" photographer.

The earthquake in Haiti has touched everyone. It will be added to the things my life that have touched me the most. From the Jim Jones tragedy from long ago, to the breath taking Olympic photos that happen every four years, to the photos of 9/11, to the tsunami in 2004, to this earthquake in Haiti, the photos that photographers have taken of these news events have burned themselves into my memory. These photographers have the ability to make you 'feel' though their photos. Whether a winning smile, a hug between competitors or a photo of a little child, covered in dirt in Haiti who has lost her parents, i feel those images. I wonder, too, what it would be like to look through the lens of a camera during times like that. I know that when i take photos of Emma, i'm not "in" the moment; i'm more concentrating on getting "the best" shot that i can get. Is it that way for a photographer covering a news event?

The Haiti earthquake photos are probably the most graphic photos that i have ever seen. I have looked though the photos at the Times site over and over again...amazed at the quality, amazed at the suffering, amazed at the death that i see in them. I see strength in many of those photos of the Haitian people; and in many i see desperation. I see the heartbreaking photos of the children and the elderly and pray that someone, someone will help them. The photographer at the Times who took the photos in Haiti warn about the graphic images....but that warning, no matter how large it's written, can really prepare you for seeing those photos. The photographers of this piece, Shaul Schwarz and Timothy Fadek, TIME's photographers in Port-au-Prince did a stunning job capturing these photos. One photo is of a mass group of individuals who have died. One arm is seen as if it is reaching up towards the heavens, towards God.

These photos are like none that i've ever seen. And while stunning and heartbreaking, this is one time that i wished i hadn't looked, that i hadn't studied them, that i didn't pray over them till my tears wouldn't stop. The photos are that mesmerizing...

...and will haunt me for a life time.